When the morning came, I started to doubt the “genius” of my plan. I often decide to get on with my day and think about it later… By the time I get to it again, the excitement has passed and I decide that it’s not really a very good idea after all and scrap it. Sure enough, months later, someone else has implemented my idea!!!

What I experienced is the “Law of Diminishing Intent”;

We intend to take action when the idea strikes us. We intend to do something when the emotion is high. But if we don’t translate that intention into action fairly soon, the urgency starts to diminish. A month from now the passion is cold. A year from now it can’t be found. – Jim Rohn

When I learned about this concept I felt incredibly cheated. I had always thought that by thinking a decision through before taking action on it, that I was making smarter decisions. I realized that by avoiding action on a new idea, I was actually virtually eliminating my chances of success. I have let so many fantastic ideas fall by the wayside.

I started to wonder… “What if I fail because my poor idea?”

It’s not that you don’t think through the idea. In fact, that is the first step. The point is to take some action on the idea immediately. Draw up plans, get it on paper, invite some friends over to brainstorm.

When intuition strikes take action now!

The longer you wait the less likely you will be to do it at all, and you will pass up many life transforming opportunities.

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So there I was. Looking at probably the most expensive spread of food I’ve ever seen in my life and my “belief” was that I didn’t like seafood. I remember thinking at that moment… Why do I believe this? What is a belief anyway? I’ve heard this definition of a belief:

A belief is a strong feeling of certainty.

A belief is neither truth nor certainty. A belief is a feeling. Our feelings are affected by our thoughts. So that means that by changing our thoughts consciously we can change our beliefs. I started to weigh the pros and cons of this belief. I decided that not eating seafood is a belief that didn’t serve me any more. Maybe in the past I was able to get some feeling of individuality.. being a Maritimer who doesn’t like seafood… I couldn’t even remember exactly why I decided to believe that.

So I filled my plate… a little bit of everything. I ate it all and it was marvelous.

That day I learned a lesson. We all have beliefs. Some of them are serving and some not. We all have the ability to decide what to believe. I know it sounds too simple, but is that a good enough reason to not “believe” what I’m saying?

If you have a dream and you have not achieved it yet, then you have a barrier. You have a belief (or two) that is standing in the way of your success. Maybe you believe you are too young, too old, no time, no money, can’t afford it… that’s a good one. Either way, it is simply a belief. The reality is that there is someone out there who has achieved their dreams and they have the same “excuse” as you have. That means that they were able to change their belief system and so can you.

So what do you think? Is it time to get your beliefs working for you or do you have a reason to keep them working against you? Fortunately, it is a choice. Choose wisely.

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The bottom line is that if you don’t ask for the order then you will never get it. People very rarely come running at you with their money. If you want to become successful you will need to take some initiative. So the question is… How can you do it without being “pushy”?

The answer is that there is a very big difference between pressure and tension.

Pressure is something that is applied from the outside. It is when someone is trying to “talk you into it”. It makes you feel uncomfortable and if they are successful and getting you to buy, it is only because you want the pressure to stop. If you’ve ever said… “ok, ok, fine, I’ll buy it”, then you have experienced pressure.

Tension, on the other hand, is something that builds within. When you build tension you make your prospect come to you. You show them the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Then you show that your product/service is the bridge that will get them there.

Here’s how it plays out. You get your prospect informed and at the end you ask them the question… Are you ready to get started?

Then comes the silence. This silence is going to be EXTREMELY uncomfortable for you. You will want to jump in and do something. It is very important to recognize that the uncomfortable feeling is not shared by your prospect. The prospect is feeling tension. They are NOT uncomfortable. They are thinking. They are going through the options and making a decision. Your job is to keep quiet and let them come to you.

There are two common mistakes…

1. You can either apply pressure… “come on… you know you want it… just get started”.
2. You can let them off the hook… “why don’t you think about it and get back to me tomorrow”.

Both of those options are going to create serious problems. If you apply pressure, then the second they leave your house and get in the car, they will start thinking that they got “sold”. If you let them leave and “think about it”… they will likely talk themselves out of it. The longer you take to make a decision to do something that you know you need to do, the less likely you are to do it.

All you need to do is let the tension build and then pass them a pen. If they make the decision to start then you know that they’ve made the decision for the right reasons and they will be teachable and much more pleasant to work with. If they decide to say no, then you can scratch them off the list for now and move on.

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Today I learned that a promoter in my team believes that this just “isn’t for him”. He’s got goals, dreams and great work ethic. However, he says that he can’t get himself to contact and invite. He knows what to do, but says that doing it simply “isn’t in him”.

Allow me to use an analogy. I just finished day 83 of my 90 day fitness challenge. Almost every single time I workout, I struggle mentally with it. I start trying to talk myself out of the workout and have to psych myself back into it. I have definitely thought to myself that I working on my fitness “isn’t for me” many times.

Pursuing a business goal is a lot like pursuing a fitness goal. It takes hard work and perseverance. We can try to talk ourselves out of it all we want and say that “it isn’t for me” but what does that mean? Do you really think that some of us are just not meant to be successful? Do you think that some people just naturally find success easy and they never reach any roadblocks? I can tell you from experience that this is absolutely ridiculous. Just like every human being has the ability to work on their health by eating right and exercising whether they feel like it or not, every human being also has the ability to become successful by taking action regardless of whether they feel like it or not.

If success was simple then we would all have it. The reality is that it is a mental struggle. Feelings of unworthiness, uncertainty, doubt and fear are absolutely normal. We all worry about what others will think and say. However, it is through surviving the attempt that we gain the confidence to succeed. Keep your eye on the goal. Whether the goal is ten reps or ten calls it’s the same thing. Just do it.

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Well you aren’t alone. It seems that as a society we are conditioned to give but not receive since we don’t want to seem “greedy” or “needy”. How does that affect those around us?

Consider this. I remember when I was a boy and I got my first paper route. I was so proud of the money that I had earned and I was so grateful that I went out and bought gifts for everyone in my family. I remember specifically going to Sears and buying a pair of earrings for my mom. I can’t remember what I spent, but on a paper route salary, it couldn’t have been more than 15 dollars. I wrapped it up and handed it proudly to my mom. I don’t even know if she had the little box open yet before she burst in tears. The feeling that came over me was incredible. For years, I’ve tried to recreate that feeling in my mother. I was addicted to “making my mom cry”. Now imagine if my mom had refused to accept the gift because I “shouldn’t have”…

We all have a gift or talent to give. However, if you never use this talent, then does it really have value? If a musician has the ability to move a room with their music but they never play for anyone then what value do they have? Our gifts are meant to be given… However, if there is no one willing to accept this gift then the giver’s potential will never be achieved.

Value is only created through exchange… Through the “give and take”. The key is to balance the two.

My parents have been married for 37 years. I have always remembered one thing they said years back. They said that every day, each of them try to find ways to make each others’ day easier. Imagine that. They consciously look for ways to give to each other. I can just imagine if you are a giver, this might even infuriate you to think that you’ve been outdone! Imagine ending the day realizing that you have to work twice as hard tomorrow because your partner did more for you than you did for them.

However, this is not the reality for most of us. Most of us are in a relationship where one is a giver and the other is the taker. The giver feel under appreciated, but continues to give because they feel a sense of importance. Like they are a “savior” because they feel that their partner would surely fall apart without them. The reality is that they will never achieve their full potential because they are pouring all their value into a black hole.

Maybe the natural reaction to not take is because we don’t feel confident in our ability to give back what we’ve taken and we feel that being in “debt” is uncomfortable. Instead, why not find ways to give back.

It’s time to wake up. The Beatles said, “in the end love you take is equal to the love you make”. If you are a taker… start giving! However, more importantly, if you are a giver, start taking. You are depriving those around you the feeling of importance that giving provides.

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