From Suicidal to “Love Billionaire”: Anil Gupta’s Smart Select System for Relationships

Tim Melanson: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to today’s episode of the Work At Home Rockstar podcast. I’m excited for today’s episode. We’re talking to the owner of For Your Eyes Only LLC, and we can see how he helps people. He’s the love doctor, so he’s a relationship expert. I’m really excited to be talking a little bit more about that.

Uh, but we are welcoming Anil Gupta to the show today. Anil, are you ready to rock?

Anil Gupta: I am.

I’m … We’re gonna band together,

Tim Melanson: We are Band together.

I like

Anil Gupta: we’re gonna, we’re gonna, gonna create a, an amazing tune that you can all listen to that I promise you will provide massive value for you today

Tim Melanson: Awesome. Well, we do always start off on a good note. So tell me a story of success that we can be inspired by

Anil Gupta: So, you know, I was suicidal in 2008, and they said no. Uh, it was the best thing that ever happened to me because from there I started speaking on stages, five, 10, 15, 20, 100, 500, eventually 10,000 people. Wrote a [00:01:00] book… Wrote three bestseller books, actually. TEDx, Fox News, Sky TV, ABC, NBC, iHeartRadio, Harvard. You know, who would think a guy like me would end up at Harvard?

And it, it’s all because of that time, 2008 November, that I thought my life wasn’t worth it. So whatever you’re going through, know that this too shall pass, and it’s not what happens in life, it’s who you become. I– On that day, I changed my identity from money to love, and then when I changed it to love, I became a billionaire because I stopped using the currency of the United States of America and changed it to love, camaraderie, friendship, giving, generosity, playfulness, fun, gratitude, growth.

The simple things in life became the big things in life

Tim Melanson: Wow. Wow, that’s amazing. Yeah, uh, this, this too shall pass, right? And, I [00:02:00] mean, you know, you, you think about that when the bad things are happening, but also the good things pass too, unfortunately. Uh, but I guess you have to have a bit of a, I don’t know, a, a level playing field here ’cause, I mean, if you get too excited about the good things, then it kinda drops you into a bit of a depression when they do pass, right?

Anil Gupta: Well, that’s, that’s what happened to the astronauts. You know, they, they’d go to the moon, they’d come back, they’d have this ticker tape, and then no one thought about them again, so they would go into these deep depressions. So the secret is, really it’s, it’s the happiness formula. Uh, you know, I’ve developed a formula for happiness, which is G times G times G.

Y- The first G, you have to give your time, your energy, your love, your commitment, your joy, your gift. And that’s what I started to do. I gave my stuff away. And then when you give, you feel good, and when you feel good, all the pain and suffering disappears.

Tim Melanson: Mm-hmm.

Anil Gupta: And when you give, you feel good. The person receiving the gift receives endorphins.

They feel good. [00:03:00] The person observing the gift feels good. The person sharing the giving feels good. The person receiving the sharing feels good. The person observing the giving of the sharing feels good. So it has a huge effect. We never know what other people are going through. So if you play the right tune, if you can say the right words, someone’s life will change

Tim Melanson: Yeah, and isn’t it interesting that it seems as though the people who are the most quiet, the ones that don’t really say anything, sometimes are going through some pretty crazy things, right? And I, I mean, it’s, it’s just sad when you see somebody that you think was doing great, right? And then you find out that something happens to them, and it’s, it’s very, it’s very difficult to really know whether someone is going through something or not.

So you might as well just give anyway, right?

Anil Gupta: Yeah. And giving is just a smile, a thank you, helping them with something, you know, commenting [00:04:00] something, edifying them, m- making them laugh,

Tim Melanson: Mm-hmm.

Anil Gupta: and you never know the impact we have on people. You see, people will always remember how you made them feel. One of my favorite stories is a young man, he’s at univer- he’s at school, and then he packs up his bags, and he’s going home and some kids were messing with him.

He th- his books fell on the floor, and then someone came and helped him put all his books back in his bag. And then seven, eight years later, he was valedictorian. He was doing a speech, and he said, "You know, eight years ago, you may not know, although I’m, you know, the head boy, the, you know, the valedictorian, I was on the verge of suicide, but my friend saved me by just befriending me in that moment, because I cleaned out my desk, I was going to end it that night, but I didn’t."

So whatever you’re going through, there’s someone there for you, and this too shall pass. [00:05:00] By you performing an act of kindness, we have no idea the difference we’re making to someone’s life

Tim Melanson: Yeah, I agree. Wow. Well, okay, so now, I mean, there’s a bit of bad notes in th- in these stories as well. It seems like the good notes and the bad notes kinda intermingle a little bit, don’t they? But I, uh, I, I do wanna give you another opportunity to talk about these bad notes because I think a lot of people are held back by, by making a mistake.

You know, they’re worried that something’s not gonna work out well. And so I like to make sure that people know that, hey, you know what? You can still get success even though you’re gonna make some mistakes. So can you share with me another, some mistake that happened to you?

Anil Gupta: Well, obviously I’d lost all that money. There, there were many mistakes there. But I remember a friend of mine said, "Anil, you’ve helped me, you’ve helped my wife in, in our relationship. Why don’t you do an event?"

Tim Melanson: Hmm

Anil Gupta: And I sort of, I looked at him and said, "Well…" And he said, "What’s wrong?" I said, "I’m scared." And he said, "What are you scared about?"

I said, "What if no one turns up?" So I was so concerned what other people thought. [00:06:00] Then he said this to me, and it changed my life. "Anil, if no one turns up, no one will know." And I thought, "Ah, I love that."

Tim Melanson: Wow

Anil Gupta: that’s how it started. So always s- you know, the one thing I learned from Richard Branson was always say yes and work it out afterwards.

Tim Melanson: Yep

Anil Gupta: uh, someone asked me to speak in Medellin, Colombia, in a bullring, and he said, "Oh, there’s gonna be over 10,000 people there." I said, "Yeah, I’ll do it." When I got there, I thought, "What am I doing here? I can’t do this. I’m not good enough." And then I got out of my head. I,

Tim Melanson: Sorry, my

dog’s barking.

Anil Gupta: That’s okay. I disappeared, and my greatness appeared.

So when you disappear, let your greatness come out. You know, we- we- we’re very musically based today, and this is what happens when a musician plays. They [00:07:00] disappear, their greatness appears, and that’s what we need to do in life. Let go of the ego, let go of the fear, and just step into courage. When you do that, it’ll add more years to your life and more life to your years

Tim Melanson: That’s amazing. Amazing. If no one shows up, no one will know. I love that. That is so good. And, uh, you know, the other thing that you said that I really wanna touch on, too, is say yes and then figure it out. Ugh, so many times people will say no to an opportunity ’cause they don’t have it completely all figured out in their heads.

And I think, I think there is a little bit of, like, well, you gotta be prepared enough, I guess, to say… Like, I mean, don’t, you know, go off the deep end on this thing. But on the other hand, I mean, what better motivation than you have a gig booked? Like, I know in music when, when, uh, when I’m trying to, [00:08:00] uh, help new musicians get started, they’re like, "Oh, you know, I’m having a hard time, you know, putting a band together.

I’m having a hard time this." I always say to them the same thing. This is what I did. I booked the gig three months out, and then lo and behold, the band f- showed up ’cause, I mean, as, uh, a musician, you know, if someone comes to you and says, "I have a gig booked. It pays, and it’s on this date. Do you wanna do it?"

I’m in. But if it’s like, "Oh, I’ve got some things that we maybe might eventually start a band," well, it’s gonna be a little bit harder for you to find the people that are gonna join you if you don’t have anything solid. So it’s the same thing here, right? If you say yes to an opportunity, you got a gig booked.

Now it’s time to put things together, and you will be able to find people to help you, too, won’t you?

Anil Gupta: Yeah. And you know what happens? You start asking better quality questions. You ask yourself, "How can I get this done? What else can I do? Who can I ask?" Whereas if you don’t say yes, there’s, there’s no impetus. [00:09:00] There, there’s no compelling reason to do anything. You can just be comfortable about being comfortable.

And as human beings, we only make progress when we’re uncomfortable about anything. See, as human beings, we get comfortable about being comfortable, and what we need to do is become uncomfortable about being comfortable and get comfortable about being uncomfortable, and that’s when our greatness appears.

We make the biggest impact

Tim Melanson: Yeah, like what is it they say something about idle hands or something like that? Like, it, it’s just if you’ve got nothing going on, it, you get bored, you get in your head. If you’re way too busy, it, you, you get more done. I mean, they, they always say that is that whatever you have to get done, you know, sort of shrinks or grows to the amount of time you have to get it done, right?

Anil Gupta: Yeah.

And you know, there’s so much capacity within us that has not been tapped

Tim Melanson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, so let’s talk a little bit about practicing, and this [00:10:00] can mean a lot of different things. I mean, in the, i- i- it, it can mean, you know, a, a personal care routine. It can also mean getting good and being good at what you do in your business. Uh, how do you, you know, approach practicing? Like, what do you do?

Anil Gupta: So, um, I go out and speak. I’m not a trained speaker, uh, but you have to start. So I started with me in the mirror, one person, five people, and you just have to practice, practice, practice. And as you get more comfortable, you, you get a download of so much energy, so much joy, so much content, so much clarity that it’s just like driving a car.

When you’re first driving, you’re very nervous, but eventually you become unconsciously competent. Meaning you’ll drive for an hour and think, "Oh, I can’t remember where I went," because you’re so good at it. [00:11:00] That’s the place you wanna get to, and the only way to do that is to, to do, to be, and to get into that state where you’re doing things repetitively.

You know, people say, uh, you know, they ask a question, "How many hours does it take to g- get good at something?" You’ll be shocked. You know what the answer is? Twenty hours. If you did something for twenty hours… Now, the secret is you have to do it in immersion, an hour a day, two hours a day. If you– Like I l- I tried to learn French at school, we would do an hour a week.

I didn’t learn very much until I went to France. That’s where I learnt everything. So you have to immerse yourself. Think about it. If you wanna be a better tennis player, twenty hours. If you want to be a better chess player, twenty hours. If you want a better musician, twenty hours. It’s less than a day. In just one day, your life can change

Tim Melanson: Wow. That’s, uh, I didn’t know [00:12:00] that statistic, but I mean, 20 hours is, uh, is doable, and it’s one of those things that y- I imagine you, like you say, immersion, you have to get right into it because you are gonna learn more by being around musicians, for example, than trying to figure it out on your own.

Uh, although nowadays, in every area, including, uh, music, we’ve got YouTube. Like, there are ways that you can actually immerse yourself into something, you know, by actually seeing somebody, you know, and even better would be probably to get a person to teach you, right?

Anil Gupta: You know, the fastest way is through a mentor, a coach. So I’ve, I’ve coached Wimbledon, US Open champions, French Open, Italian Open champions, and each of them has a coach. And the coach will give you that 1% difference, and that’s the difference between number one and number three. And every day, the definition of success is make progress every day.

If you’re making progress, you’re being– you’re gonna get very [00:13:00] successful. You just have to get better and better, and the fastest way to do that is with a coach or a mentor. Someone who’s been there, done it before, can guide you and has the expertise and the results

Tim Melanson: Wow. How do you know whether the coach that you’ve got… ‘Cause I mean, there’s a lot of people that are calling themselves coaches nowadays, right? But how do you know whether you got a good one or not?

Anil Gupta: You ask them for credentials. Where have they spoken? Do you have any video testimonials? Never accept a written testimonial. Show me 50 video testimonials. "Well, I, I don’t have 50." Show me what stages you’ve spoken on. Let me hear you speak. Give me one tip right now that would change my life.

And if they can’t do it… Uh, so Tim, let me, uh, give you a recent example. I was coaching a client, and I asked her, "How long have you been using this therapist?" She said, "Three years." [00:14:00] And I said, "You’ve been using this person for three years, and you’re in this predicament, and you called me, and in 20 days we’ve done this.

I’ve saved your marriage. We’ve saved your marriage. We’ve resolved some issues. We’ve handled this. We’ve handled that, and we’ve handled this." And she wrote me a note yesterday, "Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for giving me my, back my marriage." That’s what you want. You want someone who’s got credibility.

Don’t look for initials after their name. I don’t care what initials you have after your name. Can you do what I want you to do? Can you do it quickly? Can you prove that you can do it? Do people believe you can do it? Do you have expertise?

Tim Melanson: Yeah, yeah. And so now if we, if we flip that to the other side, let’s just say that someone is looking to get into the coaching industry. So then how would they start to get these testimonials if they don’t have the credentials yet or the testimonials yet?

Anil Gupta: I didn’t have them, so [00:15:00] I, I would coach for free. I would say to people, "Hey, can I coach you, guide you, nurture you, mentor you? And if you like what I say, would you give me a, a testimonial?" You, you have to get started. If you wanna climb a mountain, you’ve got to take the first step, and, uh, it’s painful because you’re giving away things, but you feel good.

But also, you’re getting ready to be the best version of you. You’re, you’re, you’re tweaking, defining, cleaning up, learning, growing, becoming even more successful, and making an even better quality deliverable

Tim Melanson: Yeah. Well, that goes back to your first point about just getting out there and doing it and speaking. Like, I mean, y- you’re 100% right. You don’t really know… Like, in, in music, I mean, I can sit in my basement and practice all I want, and I might even get it perfect in the basement, right? But then as soon as you get on a stage, everything’s different.

Like, it’s, it’s very, very different, and all of a sudden you can’t even do the things that you could do in your basement, right? Uh, so, [00:16:00] uh, it’s, I imagine, well, it, it is the same with any business too. Like, you can practice all you want alone, and that’s great. You know, you will get to a certain point. But really, the real learning comes from getting out there and actually doing it with live scenarios.

And, uh, I know that, uh, one of the things that I do notice, and maybe you’ve got a comment on this, is, uh, you know, when I’m hosting open mics and open jams and stuff like that, sometimes you’ll have people that are a little bit scared. They’re, they’re like, "Okay, I don’t know if I wanna go on stage." It’s their first time, right?

They get up on stage, and then, uh, you know, the s- the song goes okay, right? We’ll say that, that it’s, it’s good, but it could h- it could improve, right? There are certain people that come off the stage and they are addicted. They wanna get right back up on stage. And then there’s other people that are like, "I’m never doing that again."

What do you think would be the difference between those two people?

Anil Gupta: See, uh, everything that we do, we do for one reason only, [00:17:00] and that’s for the feeling it gives us. We have a nice meal, a great relationship, a nice car, a nice house, money in the bank for the feeling it gives us. So if you go on stage and you feel great, you can lap up the energy. You f- you feel, you know, important, you feel heard, you feel listened to, you feel you’re making a difference, that’s gonna energize you.

But if you’re feeling, "Oh, this– they’re judging me. I’m, I’m not a good speaker. I don’t feel comfortable," that’s okay. Maybe that’s not your, your gig, so to speak, but it’s, it’s around the feeling. I remember when I started, uh, speaking, I, I, I was very uncomfortable. It, it was actually at university. I thought, "Why am I doing this?"

It was part of the course. But then as I started to, to go on stage, I felt good because I disappeared. I started helping people. When you help someone, that’s when you, when you feel good. And you know, if you’re a musician, there’s someone out there that, that is [00:18:00] resonating with you, and you’re changing their lives.

So the more you speak, the more you play your notes, the, the more you’re out there, the more difference you’re gonna make

Tim Melanson: Yeah. Yeah, and, and I think, like, one thing that we don’t, I don’t think enough about, I think, is that everybody’s at a different stage in their journey, right? Some people are v- just getting started. Some people might be, like, well on their way. And for somebody who is getting on stage for that first time and doing their thing, well, there’s somebody in the audience that hasn’t done that yet.

And they’re actually starting to feel a little bit inspired by you going out there and getting on that stage and trying something out for the first time. And so you never know who you’re inspiring by getting up there, even if you’re very, very new in your journey, ’cause there’s somebody who’s fur- who’s n- not quite as far as you are, right?

Anil Gupta: Yeah, always. And you know, there are only two types of people on the planet, ones that make you happy when you enter a room, ones [00:19:00] that make you happy when you leave a room. Ones that, ones that make you happy when they get on stage, ones that make you happy when they get off the stage. And, and it’s okay.

It’s okay. We, w- you know, sometimes I look at people say, "Ah, if he can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, I can do it." So we never know who we’re inspiring. We never know the difference we’re making

Tim Melanson: Yep. Yeah, it, yeah, because that’s exactly it. Sometimes people might be looking at you and going like, "Wow, if that person can do it, I can do it." They’re inspired. And then the other side of it is, "Wow, that person’s really good. I just learned so much from them." S- you know, two different people on the stage, two different, uh, journeys, and you’re still inspiring people, right?

Anil Gupta: Yeah, it’s, it’s, you know, to be able to change someone’s life, to me

is the greatest thing you can do

Tim Melanson: Right on. Let’s talk about the tools that we use for success. What are the, what are some of the

things that you do to achieve the success in your career?

Anil Gupta: Yeah. So o-one of the tools I have is this one [00:20:00] sentence: Be so amazing that you cannot be ignored, and if you’re ignored, it doesn’t matter because you’re showing up the best version of you. See, a lot of us are playing small. We’re comfortable about being comfortable But there’s so much greatness inside of us.

We need to disappear, let our greatness appear. Be so amazing. So today I was playing pickleball, and I spilled some coffee on the floor. I could have left it there, but I thought, "Anil, you have to be so amazing." So I, I used my foot to try and clean it, but it was still slippery. "Anil, could you be more amazing?"

I said, "I suppose I could." So I got some tissues, and I cleaned it right up. So that creates, uh, a pathway for me to be the best version of me by being able to focus on other people

Tim Melanson: Yeah. And it’s the little wins too, right? People, you know, if, if you leave those little things, like a spot on the [00:21:00] floor or maybe your desk uncleaned, that sort of spirals into other things. Whereas, on the other hand, if you could make a check mark next to that and say, "Yeah, I did that well," it just inspires you to do more, doesn’t it?

Anil Gupta: Yeah, absolutely. So, uh, again, on the pickleball court, there’s a friend of mine who, who has a problem with his hamstring, and I said, "You should get a, a thigh support. You should get a thigh support." He hasn’t done it I have one here. I’ve, I brought in one. I’m gonna give it to him tomorrow. He, he … I care for him.

I didn’t have to do it. Why should I do it? It’s his life. But no, that’s been so amazing you cannot be ignored

Tim Melanson: Wow, that’s amazing too. Oh, okay, so it’s time for your guest solo. So tell me what’s exciting in your business right now

Anil Gupta: So I’m really excited about a program I’m releasing. Um, it’s helping singles find their ideal partner without [00:22:00] dating. It’s called the Smart Select System. You see, people say yes to a relationship until it becomes a no, and that’s not the way to do it. It’s a– it, it’s no until a yes. You’ve got to collect the data.

You’ve got to make an informed choice. You’ve got to know how to talk to people, how to c-collect the data, interpret the data, and look for people who are not telling you the truth, and then analyzing and making a decision. M-my daughter used this process. First boyfriend she married, he’s a twelve out of ten.

I use this process. I’ve been married, you know, thirty-seven years, seven months and nine days, not that I’m counting. But if you use the formula, everything works. It’s called the Smart Select System. What if your next partner was the right one? What if your next partner gave you [00:23:00] total certainty because you made the right choice?

It’s all about choices, my friends.

Tim Melanson: Wow. Wow. Why do you think people s- have so much trouble with relationships?

Anil Gupta: Well, imagine, you know, you, you’ve got a child and your friend’s got, you know, you meet some, uh, other kids. What, what do parents say to their children? "Oh, is that your boyfriend? Is that your girlfriend?" At the age of two, three, four. It’s ridiculous. You know? You, you’re not ready for a relationship until at least 19, 20, 21.

Uh, my daughter was telling me her friends have relationships at the age of 13. They break up, they, they’re fighting, then they have another one, then another one. And each time they think this is the one, this is … Well, no. They have no idea. Focus on being a child. Focus on having fun. Focus on the most important things at the time.

You have [00:24:00] plenty of time. You have 80 years of relationship ahead of you. There’s no rush. But we’re indoctrinated through media, through television, uh, this romance. You think, "Oh, this is so romantic." No. It … You’re making one of the biggest decisions of your life. You can’t just base it on the feeling of, "I think this is right.

I feel good." No. You’ve got to collect the data, and it’ll stop a lot of pain and suffering

Tim Melanson: Yeah, I, I couldn’t agree more with that. That’s a… Yeah, and, uh, w- we also have this sort of, like, negative stigma towards being single as well, and, "Oh, you don’t have a relationship? Like, what, what’s wrong with you?" Right? And I mean, meanwhile, you know, you have so many people that are staying in relationships that are even abusive.

Like, I, I mean, I mean, it, it, it blows my mind that not only can it not be the right person, but it actually can hurt you, and they’re staying in because it’s better than being sing- single, I guess[00:25:00]

Anil Gupta: Well, a-again, it’s what other people think of them. They, they, they, they … The feeling that they get from having a relationship is far greater than the feeling of not being in a relationship. They don’t wanna be judged. They don’t wanna be criticized. They don’t wanna be complained to. And it’s sad that, you know, people would choose that.

And it’s okay not to have a relationship. You’re not gonna … You’re not alone. You’re not lonely. You just haven’t found the right person, and there’s no rush. If, you know, if, if you … You know, the most important part of a race is not the start, it’s the finish. So if you’re 30 or 35 and then you find the right partner, you have 65 years of a beautiful relationship.

But if you make it the wrong decision and you start having kids, it, it’s the most painful, painful situation you could ever imagine. See, emotional pain is far more painful than [00:26:00] physical pain. So there’s no rush, but we’re indoctrinated in having to do that. So if you put five crabs in a bucket and one tries to leave, the other four will pull it down.

We’re made to feel so guilty. What’s wrong with you? You know, if you have four couples and a single, he, he feels guilty. He feels different. He thinks, "Oh, I wanna fit in. I, I wanna belong." And that’s one of the issues that people have nowadays

Tim Melanson: Yeah. And meanwhile, you know, chances are the, many of those couples, probably not all of them, but, but many of them are not actually happy with what they’re doing, and the single might actually be happy. And the only thing that they’re not happy about is the stigma that they have, that they carry about being single, right?

Anil Gupta: Absolutely. It, it, it’s a, it’s a terrible state to be in, but it’s human nature

Tim Melanson: It is. It is. So tell me a little bit more about,

like, what, what is it like to work with you? Like, what, how does that work?

Anil Gupta: So, um, the, my promise is this. [00:27:00] If, if you work with me, w- you have a session with me, I promise you, you, you will learn something that will enhance your life. Guaranteed. And if, if it doesn’t, next call is free. So my, my, my gift is this. I can remove the obstacles that are preventing you from leading a richer, fuller, happier life.

When we do work together, it’ll add more years to your life and more life to your, your years. You’ll get clarity. You will never make the wrong choice in a partner. And how much joy would that bring you? How much suffering would that save you? And that’s my gift. Uh, uh, I’m able to do that

Tim Melanson: So do you work with, with singles looking for a relationship or people already in a relationship? What’s, h- which one

Anil Gupta: So I, I, I help singles find their ideal partner through the smart select system, but I also help couples and families get clarity, learn a [00:28:00] language, communicate, overcome the obstacles so that there’s more harmony and unity in the family. So any obstacle that’s preventing you from having a richer love life or a richer feeling of love, I’m the guy

Tim Melanson: Wow. Okay. And if you’re working with a couple, do both partners have to be kind of buying in on this, or would you work with one part of the couple to help them?

Anil Gupta: So, um, it can b- work both ways. Normally, I would work with one person, and then as I work with that person and as they implement my techniques, the other person notices, "Hey, my husband’s being very more attentive. He’s listening to me more. He’s, he’s understanding me more. He’s doing more." So then she’s thinking, "What’s going on?"

And then I would invite her onto a call with the husband, and then h- that’s how it all starts. But there [00:29:00] has to be a change the other person sees. Once they see the change, it’s a no-brainer because the c- compounding effect of that over many years is enormous

Tim Melanson: Yeah. And, and doesn’t that seem to be the case, well, with just about anything, even just business, is that you can’t change anybody else. The only thing you can do is change yourself, right? And I think that’s uncomfortable for a lot of people, thinking that, "Well, I’m the problem," so they’re not… They’re trying to avoid being the problem, I guess would probably be why they decide to not make the change on their side.

Um, but I don’t think it’s, I don’t think that’s the way you’d put it. What is it?

Anil Gupta: No, and you know, it’s easy

to say, "Oh, can you fix my wife?"

Tim Melanson: Yeah.

Anil Gupta: And w- "I don’t wanna do the work, but can you fix her?" You know, it’s all about her, and honestly, it’s not. You know, for example, I would l- always leave the toilet seat up, and then she, my wife would complain. But I, I said, "I’m not gonna change. I’m not gonna change."

Then one day she said this to me, "Honey, every time you do [00:30:00] that, I can’t love you as much." And I thought, "Oh, that’s a bit steep." Then I thought, "No, she’s right," and then I changed, and when I changed, she changed. If, if you want your partner to change, you have to change. Once you change, they will change. It’s so easy

Tim Melanson: Yeah. Yeah, it is. And o- on the other side, maybe if you put the s- the seat down, she can, she can definitely love you enough. Maybe, maybe the positive, uh, reinforcement, right?

Anil Gupta: Uh, it, it, I, I would remind her. Um, yeah, the other thing, I recently fractured my, my wrist and I couldn’t put the toothpaste tube, toothpaste on my, uh, toothbrush, and she would do it for me.

Tim Melanson: Hmm.

Anil Gupta: You know? It’s the simple thing. It’s the small things that are the big things

Tim Melanson: Yep. Yeah, it is. And I mean, we see that on the opposite side too, right? ‘Cause I mean, isn’t it kind of the small things that really make people blow up in- into something? Like, it’s not … The, the big things, I think people can kind of like grasp [00:31:00] that this is a crisis and they have to deal with it, and they’re a little bit more patient, I guess.

But the little things are the ones that really just kinda grind on you, right?

Anil Gupta: Yeah, the, the really the breaking point, you know, it, it just builds and builds and builds and human beings, we’re really good at stacking, so we can stack all the negative stuff, but we’re not good at stacking the positive stuff, so we focus on the negative. And if, if, for example, if you have a good wolf on your right shoulder and a bad wolf on your left shoulder, which one will win?

Tim Melanson: The one you feed.

Anil Gupta: The one you feed. So start feeding the good wolf. Start feeding the good habits. Start feeding the giving, the gratitude, the growing, and your life will change

Tim Melanson: Yeah. Uh, I agree with that for sure. Awesome. So now, uh, how, how do people get to work with you? Is it like a group program? Is it one-on-one coaching? Like, h- how does this work?

Anil Gupta: The, the, the, the best and fastest way is one-on-one coaching with me. And if you need to, [00:32:00] uh, have a conversation with me, you can book a time with me, chatwithaneil.com. It’ll s- book you a time with me. We’ll have a conversation. I’ll show exactly what I can do. And in that call, you will experience a positive shift towards leading a richer, fuller, happier life.

Because I have to prove to you that it’s worth working with me. I have to, and I will

Tim Melanson: Awesome. All right, chatwithaneel.com. That’s awesome. All right, we’re gonna shift gears a little bit and get into music for just a few minutes. So tell me, who is your favorite rock star or band?

Anil Gupta: Uh, I like Queen, I like The Beatles,

I like Simon & Garfunkel, The Carpenters They’re probably my top, top ones

Tim Melanson: Wow. Have you seen any of them live in concert before?

Anil Gupta: I’ve seen The Beatles here in Orlando. Oh my goodness me.

Tim Melanson: Oh.

Anil Gupta: had a wonderful experience. And I tell you what happened, I [00:33:00] was in the nosebleeds, and I, uh, then I went down to, um, to get some food and I saw some people leaving the two and a half thousand dollar ticket, uh, area. And I said, "Hey, are you leaving?"

And they said, "Yes." I said, "What are you doing with your ticket?" They said, "Here you go." So they gave us their tickets. They left early, you know, maybe half an hour early. So we got to be front row and it was magical. It was magical experience. This was maybe about five, 10 years ago. It was, um Yeah, uh, I can’t believe how old that man is, and he’s still rocking and rolling

Tim Melanson: Oh, right on. So you saw Paul McCartney then?

Anil Gupta: No, no, no. Hold, hold on, hold on. It wasn’t The Beatles

Ah.

Oh my

Tim Melanson: Stones?

Anil Gupta: Rolling Stones.

Tim Melanson: Yes.

Anil Gupta: Rolling Stones. [00:34:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tim Melanson: Yes, they are still touring. Yeah, I was like, "Oh, could’ve

Anil Gupta: I was amazed. I was amazed. Yeah

Tim Melanson: Y- yeah, I’ve seen the Rolling Stones as well, and what a show they put on. That was incredible. And like you say, I think it was probably about 10 years ago. Uh, no, uh, maybe, maybe 15 now that I think about it.

But I mean, uh, still I mean, they’re such… Still rocking. It’s so cool

Anil Gupta: Yeah, great value. You know, so much energy. It’s not like they were, they were jumping up and down and being, you know, so extroverts. Unbelievable experience

Tim Melanson: Right on. Wow, that’s amazing. Well, thank you so much for rocking out with me today, Anil. This has been a lot of fun

Anil Gupta: No, thank you. Thank you. I enjoyed it very much

Tim Melanson: Awesome. And to the guests, make sure you go to workathomerockstar.com for more information, and we’ll see you next time on the Work at Home Rockstar podcast