Finding Harmony with Arlene Cohen Miller

Tim Melanson: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to today’s episode of the Worker Home Rockstar podcast. Excited for today’s episode. We are talking to the CEO of Juul consultancy and what she does, she does a bunch of things, but she helps people to focus on what they really desire in life and helps them get it. So I’m excited to be rocking out today with Arlene Cohen Miller.

Hey Arlene, are you ready to rock?

Arlene Cohen Miller: I am ready to rock.

Tim Melanson: Awesome. We always start off here in a good note. So tell me a story of success that we can be inspired by.

Arlene Cohen Miller: I guess one of my stories for success is that. I had a solo practice, practice of law in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio called Lakewood, Ohio, and I had an opportunity to move across country to be, to sell my practice and to become a partner in a small boutique law firm. My my son was nine at the time, and with the help of a few of my very good friends, I actually managed to fill my practice like in like a month.

People [00:01:00] just sort of came to my rescue, said, talk to this person. They wanted to buy it and to travel across the country and to, you know, take to my son to a new place. I didn’t even know that would be possible. I was divorced at the time and to buy into a new business and to start a whole new life. And it was quite the journey to, um, to pull all that together.

My ex-husband really hadn’t taken much of an interest in our son. He had gotten remarried and had like three more kids, and, but it took a while for him to say. Even though I wasn’t not interested in him to let it go and just to give it the opportunity to, to have a whole new breath in life. My son had had pretty bad asthma at the time.

So moving from the Midwest with a lot of. Humidity and everything out to sunny dry Colorado was a really good thing for him in just so many different ways and for our business and for life. So that was like a real, uh, step to have the courage to do that. ’cause I had always lived in the south or the Midwest.

I’d never really been out to the west to live. [00:02:00] And, uh, we made it happen.

Tim Melanson: Good for you. Wow. That would’ve taken a lot of courage to, where did the idea come from?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Well, um. I just, I was, I was a family law attorney and I was doing a lot of divorce work and child custody work, and I was being called to the court to be a guardian ad litem, appointed to represent children when there was alcohol or drug abuse or other weird stuff going in the home. And I was like, I. I started that right outta law school.

I mean, I worked for some other attorneys for about three or four years, and I opened my own solo practice, but I come from?

like Knight suburban family in Louisville, Kentucky, and I really didn’t have all the background of, of how to really take care of yourself that I started when my son was young. And um, so I was sort of mowed over by it all.

It was, it was a, the legal system is not a, and divorce law is not a very, um. Fine place to be. It’s, [00:03:00] it’s really, it was really a, a big, rude awakening of the life, but people at their worst and dealing with parents that, you know, if they’re coming through a divorce, you know, a lot of parents would. Try to pit their kids against each other.

And I don’t know, I just got to see a lot of the worst of that stuff. And so I changed to commercial law. There was a, uh, there was a, I was steering office space in like a storefront office in la um, Lakewood, Ohio. Not very, not very glamorous, but there was two other attorneys. There was an employment agency and there was this guy that was doing collections for businesses and he started, he was just selling packages to business and he said, will you be my attorney?

And so that I can turn this over to legal if the people. Won’t pay. And then you, you have friends all around the country ’cause you’re connected with the commercial law. You can send it out to them. And I said yes. And so I stopped doing family law, which was kind of a drama just to let all that money go and stepped into commercial law.

And the firm that I was buying into, that’s all they [00:04:00] did. And they had all the technology. They were a step up. And I was just really ready to move out of Ohio. I loved it. The people were wonderful, but it was like six months of. And my son wasn’t, it wasn’t helping my son. So I met, uh, an attorney at a commercial meeting, commercial law meeting up in Chicago and yeah, that’s, that’s how it happened.

Tim Melanson: Wow, that’s amazing. Well, that’s, uh, that’s so cool that it actually worked out. And uh, I do, I mean, family law must be so hard. You must have to have some real thick skin to be able to handle all that negativity flying back and forth. Right.

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah, and, and a lot of the women. Yeah, well, the, the, the women I knew that did it, they, I just couldn’t get, I couldn’t find their heart. It’s like, do you have any feeling left that they really, and I just wasn’t able to do that. I, I wasn’t able just to totally put a brick wall around myself. When I’m dealing with people I.

Tim Melanson: So now, so now [00:05:00] changing, you know, changing everything must have been a bit of a challenge. There might have been some things that didn’t go as planned, and I’m wondering, can you share with us some bad notes, some, maybe some business mistakes that you’ve made and you know, how we can avoid them or recover.

Arlene Cohen Miller: Um. I guess the business mistakes I made as a young attorney is that I didn’t get enough money up front to handle divorces and stuff like that, and then people didn’t wanna pay. So I, I think you really have to know who your client tell are, and to be really selective with the people that you work with, because sometimes as a young business person, you’ll just take anything because you wanna get your feet off the ground.

And I think you really need to listen to your sixth sense, and if something’s telling you that. This is not gonna turn out well because I really had that sixth sense with, with one of the, the early clients that did this. You know, she just seemed a little bit off and I. Um, it turns out that she was an alcoholic who had been really dry for a whole number of years, but when she [00:06:00] started going through the divorce, she started drinking again.

So I think it’s really important to pay attention to your intuition and not just go, I’m a young business person. I really need this business to stay afloat, because sometimes it’s better not to get that and get to some other stuff that. You actually have solid people you enjoy working for than just, you know, a disaster in the making that you could have probably avoided.

Tim Melanson: Yeah. I get that a lot with the intuition, right? We, we always have these gut feelings and you know, you tend to sort of discount them and you really shouldn’t because, you know,

Arlene Cohen Miller: No, don’t do that.

Tim Melanson: there are definitely clues. Yeah. That’s really good. And so, uh, you know, getting money up front, like did you change any sort of like practices like moving forward that now you have in place?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Well, I got outta domestic relations law, which was family law and commercial law. Um, so I helped, I just switched over because There was a [00:07:00] really cool businessman in, in the, the business, the, the office space that I was, um, working with. And he wanted to work with me to help. Businesses collect their debts.

He sold collection packages, but lots of times, letters just didn’t do it for people and these people wanted their money. So I really enjoyed it, you know, because I think people deserve to get paid for their goods and services. And so I, and most of collection law is you get paid when you collect.

Occasionally there’ll be something where there’s an hourly rate, but most of it’s all contingent fee basis, which means when you collect the money, you take a portion and you give it back. So I didn’t really have to deal as a commercial attorney with that stuff anymore, and it was such a relief because I was doing a good job for people, but I didn’t have to bug them for money because they knew they were gonna give me a portion of whatever I got for them, which was more than what they had, and they were happy about that.

Tim Melanson: I love that. That’s great. So let’s talk a little bit about honing your craft. Like how do you get good, or I guess even stay good [00:08:00] at, at what you do. I, and I imagine that law kind of changes sometimes, right? Don’t you have to keep up on things?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah, well, um, law wasn’t that hard because in the practice of law nowadays, it’s not like it used to be where they’re just pushing the hang their shingle out and they would do everything. No one does that anymore. And so you have an area of expertise. You, um, there is continuing legal, legal education that’s required to keep your.

Still up to date in order to stay licensed in Colorado or anywhere that you are practicing law. And so it’s not that big of a deal, um, to really stay upbeat with it. Um, it is, I guess I’ve experienced that more in depth as, ’cause I sold my business. After many, many years because I just got burnt out and I, it was, I, I loved the practice of law, but it was always there.

You could go on a vacation, you could go on a business trip. You had to work really hard before you go. When you came back, there was no ever saying, you know, I’m just gonna take a holiday. [00:09:00] And so. Yeah, I, I became, I got my diploma coaching and mentoring and my diploma in transformational holistic counseling, um, from Australia.

I can’t use it, but I, I know it so I can apply it to my day-to-day life and working with people, um, and certification in, um, meditation when I was an attorney. So I just started applying that when I, when I sold my practice and. It just feels like in that area, it’s really important to not just take courses, but to actually have, uh, peers in your industry that you, you work with and you, you keep in touch with.

I mean, for example, right now I have a really good friend who’s a professional certified coach like me. She lives in Australia and we coach each other. You know, we sort of alternate weeks if we, if we need to skip a week. We do, but we, we. Then we critique each other. You know, this, this went well for me, you might wanna do this.

So it is really important, you know, as a [00:10:00] coach and as a mentor, to really get feedback from other people, you know, on a regular basis.

Tim Melanson: Awesome. Awesome. So you have sort of like a bit of a mastermind in a way.

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah. And, you know, she’s, she’s a friend and so, but, but we really have stuff come up that we could use some help with in our lives as we all do. So it’s great to have a coaching person that you know is really good. And to, you know, help you over the bumps in your life and, but actually give you really honest, critiquing back, this really worked for me.

You might wanna think about this because clients are gonna do that. You know, they’ll either stay with you or they’re gonna leave. But, um, someone like that, it’s, it’s really very, very valuable.

Tim Melanson: Well, so you’re really fortunate to have a friend that’s able to do that kind of stuff for you. Look what you know. Is that how you became friends or were you friends already? Like how, how did that relationship form?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Um, well, she went through the same, um, coaching school. I did the Global Coaching Academy [00:11:00] and, uh, we met that way and I think she, I don’t know if she went through after me or not, but I. I know we, we both worked together for a while in the Global Coaching Academy, um, helping to, uh, tutor the students and stuff like that, especially as they’re going through their time when they’re actually learning how to coach and when they’re actually getting out and working with people on a, it’s called pro bono, a free basis to, to really learn how to be coaches when you’re not in that really kind of sheltered environment.

And so I’ve worked with her, I work with her in that.

capacity. We just stayed in touch. She’s a lovely, lovely person. And, uh. That’s how we decided. And it’s just a recent thing. We don’t do it all the time. About six months ago we said This would be a good idea. Would you like to do this? And I said, yes. And so, yeah, that’s what I’m doing right now.

It’s not the only thing I can do, but it’s, it’s just, it’s working at the moment.

Tim Melanson: Cool. Oh, do you have any other, any other. Ways that you’re learning, like how else do you, mentorship and all that stuff, or do you,

Arlene Cohen Miller: [00:12:00] Oh, absolutely. you,

know, I, um, the International Coaching Federation offers classes. There’s all sorts of organizations that offer classes that help you to be a better mentor. It doesn’t necessarily necessarily come under the the title of mentoring. It might be just studying like trauma or something like that, because people that come to us as coaches and mentors, even though we’re not counseling, we’re definitely not doing that.

It’s different. It’s important to know, to be informed about trauma, for example, like I studied that so that. I feel that coming up for someone as a coach or as a mentor, you know, I can help them to work through it without stepping into counseling mode.

Tim Melanson: Okay. Yeah, which I’d imagine probably comes up more than you might think, right.

Arlene Cohen Miller: A lot of people feel traumatized right now with everything that’s happening in the world and, and you know, when I was growing up, my mother had the opportunity to stay at home and be a stay at home mom, and people were able to live on one [00:13:00] income back then. Most people can’t do that now. So, you know, the professional women that I deal with, you know, most of ’em are really smart, brilliant women that have great careers, but they have kids too, and some of ’em have partners, some of them don’t.

But it’s, it’s a lot to juggle. You know, you can’t be everything to everybody without something going.

Tim Melanson: Uh, we’re seeing that a lot too. Uh, and, and you’re right. My, my mom was a stay at home mom. Mom as well. And yeah, I mean it so much more difficult nowadays, especially with j with, with a job, with a employment. I, you know, maybe if you have a business, but even still, you’re gonna be working around the clock doing your business, right?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah.

I mean, I was really fortunate when I, when my son was born, he was born right after I opened my solo practice in, in that suburb of Cleveland. Not born, but I found out I was pregnant, so he was born. Nine or 10 months after I opened my business and at the time I was married and um, he was working crazy hours, but at least [00:14:00] there was a food on the table, there was a roof over my head.

And so, you know, during the first year of his life when I was absolutely, totally. Sleep deprived at all times. Um, I didn’t have to work full time, you know, I sort of could balance it out a little bit more until he got a little bit older. So, uh, I’m really grateful that as a, a working mother, that I have always been self-employed because I could kind of orchestrate things to take things home at night if I wanted to pick ’em up from school.

But a lot of working women, professional working women, you know, don’t do that. They can’t do that. You know, they’re a judge or something and, and, uh, they have to be on the bench at certain times.

Tim Melanson: Well, this is one of the big benefits of, of working from home too, uh, is like, and having your own business is, is to be a little bit more flexible with some of those things that you can, you know, still provide an income for your family, but also, you know, be there for some of those important things. Right.

Arlene Cohen Miller: Absolutely. You know, um, I have a yoga practice and I don’t wanna do it at late at night. [00:15:00] That doesn’t work for me. So, you know, I can do, I can sort of do my schedule around that, you know, which class do I wanna go to, And and or something, or whatever it is for you to sort of float your boat so you can let go of stress and, you know, have a life besides the work that we do.

I think it’s really, really, really important.

Tim Melanson: And it’s funny that you, you say that ’cause it comes up quite often. I, I find it very interesting that a lot of people who are self-employed or have businesses, uh, maybe more like the self-employed, like the solo businesses, the home businesses, small businesses, they tend to be, they tend to have some sort of meditation or some sort of like health practice that they do regularly.

Do you find that that’s a, you know, commonality in, in, in this world?

Arlene Cohen Miller: I don’t know. I hang, I hang around with a lot of people that take care of themselves. I think we draw that to ourselves. So there it is. The yoga school I go to is a big community. I know lots of people that run mean in Colorado. I mean like the state of the country I think. But so [00:16:00] most of the people I hang around with.

You know, take care of themselves and, um, do something, you know, even if it’s gardening or the getting outside or walking in nature, even if they’re not, um, more of an athlete like I am not, I’m a great athlete anymore, but, you know, uh, most of the people I hang out with, they take care of themselves. So I guess that’s what I draw to myself and I, I think we’re half happier And, healthier for, for having that kind of outlet.

Tim Melanson: And, and I mean you, because when you are working for yourself, you don’t have anybody kinda like forcing you to do anything. You have to kind of come up with that energy yourself and where are you gonna get that? Right. [00:17:00] Mm-hmm.

Arlene Cohen Miller: to really be someone who is organized and accountable. And if you have a, a day where you’re just like, you just need a break, you have to, you’re gonna have to find a way to make it up, you know? And, but it’s not that bad. I mean, I really like it.

Tim Melanson: Me too. What kinds of tools do you use in your business to get success?

Arlene Cohen Miller: I, well, I, I mean, I guess what depends what kind of success?

you’re talking about. For me personally, I guess I was really stressed out as an attorney. Uh, ’cause I had, you know, my son was younger then and, um, there was a lot of responsibility that came with that and. It just, it was a lot. So what I use, what the tools I use for success are just making sure that I feel grounded and, and aligned and centered, and, and aligned to what I wanna create for myself in my life.

Aligned to helping the people that I’m working with. And I guess a [00:18:00] lot of the tools I use with are maybe a little bit more energetic than just the kind of. Tools other people use. I just wanna make sure that I, I feel like really grounded. So I might like, one of the ways I do that is just visualize that there’s root of light going outta my body.

Like I’m a, I pretend I’m a tree. That’s how I explain it to people so they don’t think I’m too weird and it’s anchored into the heart of the planet. So I am fully present here now because if I’m gonna be helping people, I really have to be there with them. I can’t be thinking about all the other things I have to do.

I have to be fully present with what, with what they’re saying and be there. So really listen, learning, listening. So I guess one of the things that really helps is to, and I’ve worked on this for years, is to really have good listening skills. ’cause I didn’t as an attorney for a long time and that’s why I ended up getting my coaching diploma because I could tell that.

Law school did not teach me. College, did not teach me how to be a good listener. It taught me how to take [00:19:00] tests and make a’s or, or it taught me how to go out and make money. Um, but it didn’t tell me, teach me how to listen to people and you, whatever you’re doing, most people really need to listen to some people, whether they’re sending your business, whether they’re your clients.

You need to know how to listen.

Tim Melanson: I agree. And isn’t it funny that I don’t teach you that in school, right?

Arlene Cohen Miller: I, don’t think most people know how. I don’t.

Tim Melanson: I, I agree. I agree. Most people are sort of listening to, they’re not even listening. They’re thinking about what they’re gonna say next to try to get their point across right, rather than trying to listen to what the other person is saying, right?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Or they’re trying to, they wanna turn the conversation back to them so they can make it all about them.

Tim Melanson: Mm-hmm.

Arlene Cohen Miller: I don’t know. It just feels really deflating, and that’s not even the right word, but it’s just not a comfortable place to be with somebody. It’s just like, why am I talking to you? I mean, I know that I’d like to get some business from you if I, if I’m in a meeting or something, [00:20:00] but I find it really unpleasant to be with people like that.

You know? What’s the point?

Tim Melanson: I agree. That’s why I like these podcasts so much. I get the chance to meet people that are like-minded. Right?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah, absolutely.

Tim Melanson: Yeah. So now, uh, tell me a little bit more. It’s, it’s time for your guest solo. So tell me a little bit more about what’s exciting in your business right now.

Arlene Cohen Miller: I guess what’s exciting in my business is that, well, first of all, I’m, I’m taking this course to study so I can go out and do some more speaking, and I guess the, the, the podcasts have been like a really, um, a springboard for that. Like I’m diving off of a high dive and I never liked to climb up that high when I was even younger.

That felt really scary to me, but. I really, I guess what’s really, I’ve only been doing the podcasting for the past year and I feel like it’s really expanded my horizons. ’cause even if you know your topic. It’s very different to get honest, get on a show like this and be able to converse with it [00:21:00] articulately and you know, not sort of sit there like I’m, I don’t have a script to read.

So I really love how that’s expanding things out and I’m really excited about this course that I’m working with about. Getting out there and speaking more and maybe doing workshops and stuff and checking out conferences and associations. I’m just kind of in the beginning stages of it, but I find it really, really cool.

I think it’s a, a great way to get out and to to be more of service to people coaching and mentoring and the soul readings that I do. That’s great. I love it, but I sort of like, I’m interested in expanding out and I guess making a bigger splash by being able to talk to, you know, groups of people.

Tim Melanson: Nice. So what kinds of people would get the most out of working with you?

Arlene Cohen Miller: I guess people that really. Uh, they, they, they, they, maybe they know that there’s something mis missing in their life because I really feel that it’s important and I work with people at this, you know, what are [00:22:00] you passionate about? What do you really want to create for yourself in your life? Um, and it can be a hobby, it can be something about work or what really needs to change in your life.

You know? How can I, a lot of the people that come to me, they want the passion, they want the excitement, but they’re so darn stressed out. You know, they’re, they feel overwhelmed. They feel stressed. They feel anxious. They have all these plates spinning at once. They have kids, they have a career, they have a partner, or they have a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever they have, or aging parents, and it feels like too much.

So I do help people to help them get more of that balance and harmony back in their life. And it also helped them to. Feel into like really what makes my heart sing and how can I have more of that in my life as well. So I guess if that’s something that interests you, then that would be what I could help you with.

Tim Melanson: Okay, so really you help them kind of unravel what’s going on in their life and sort of organize it a little bit [00:23:00] better, and that tends to lead towards more joy.

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah, and just to learn how to let go of some of that stress. You know, sometimes just working with breath work or relaxation or organizing yourself so that you learn how to delegate better. It’s not like all, um, head on the ground stuff. It’s, it’s hard stuff too, because. When you feel different on the inside and you’re more calm, you’re more relaxed, it’s a lot easier just to handle all the stuff you have to do on the outside or even just having a knowing that what you’re doing is okay and you’re on the right path.

Because sometimes people come to me and they’re just being so incredibly hard on themselves. And just to know how to acknowledge themselves for all the little successes they they have every day. And to celebrate those successes and com and to stop having such ridiculous expectations that you’re gonna set yourself up for failure.

So when we start to change all of that, we start changing how we feel on the inside. So even if we have lots of challenges and everything on the outside, it’s gonna [00:24:00] be more manageable. We won’t be so freaked out because we feel different. We’re here, we’re breathing. We’re not all 10 up like a tight ball.

We’re more expanded out.

Tim Melanson: Nice. Well, I imagine there’s probably a few people that’s not, people might be in that situation. So if they are, what does the process look like? Like how do they get in touch with you and what and what happens once they do?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Well, my business is Jewel Consultancy, J-E-W-E-L, like the Diamond, and you can email me or call me or text me from my website. It gives you the number and the email address. I don’t. Make you fill out a box or anything, the, for me to respond back to you. It has the, it has everything right there. Um, and my full name is Arlene Cohen, C-O-H-E-N, Miller.

And, and there’s, I don’t know anyone else with that name, so if you Google it, you’re gonna find me.

Tim Melanson: Okay. Awesome. And then once they do find you, do they, can they book you for a call or how, how does that work?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Yeah, yeah, we can just, we can chat and get to know each other and see what’s going on for [00:25:00] you. Um, I’m changing that. I used to charge for that. I don’t anymore. And so even though it’s on my website, you can just ignore that and we, we will have a phone call and just see what’s going up, going on for. You and what you’re looking for and where, where your struggles are, and where your strengths are, and where you’d like to be that’s different from now, and see if you’d like to, to have a session or two or, or buy a package or whatever it is that you wanna do.

So, yeah, I’m pretty laid back. I just feel like it’s really important that the person I’m working with, you know, that we have an affinity, you know, that there’s, there’s some sort of connection that they’re gonna feel comfortable with me and I’m gonna feel comfortable with them.

Tim Melanson: Nice. Now, is this like, uh, like a one-on-one stuff or is there group stuff or what, what, how does that work?

Arlene Cohen Miller: Well, I do mostly one-on-one coaching for the coaching and mentoring. Uh, I do have a meetup group, um, online that I, uh, run every week that group work. And I do an in-person [00:26:00] one in Boulder, Colorado, which is, um, just a little bit down the street for me. More of the spiritual bent, you know, just learning. Um.

Techniques and practices to energetically feel better and, and to hold a, a bigger, larger space for ourselves. So we’re not so much, you know, bombarded by what’s going on in the world,

Tim Melanson: So now you had mentioned, uh, in our pre-chat that you have a few different, can you mention those and, and, and how to find them?

Arlene Cohen Miller: my different businesses. Um, well, my, well, I, I have, I have one business that’s dual consultancy, and within my business I do coaching, mentoring, and soul readings. And I also do, I also run weekly classes within that as well. So you can really, all you have to do is come to my, uh, website, um, call me up or text me and we’ll, we’ll set up a, a PLI preliminary call and see what works for you

Tim Melanson: Okay. Awesome. So everything’s all in one business.

Arlene Cohen Miller: Everything’s all in one business. I sold my, um, [00:27:00] law firm quite a few years ago, the second law firm, and, uh, so coaching and mentoring and what I do, That’s what I do now, and soon speaking,

Tim Melanson: That’s awesome. Well, that sounds awesome. Thanks so much for rocking out with me today and, uh, this was a lot of fun. I hope you had a lot of fun too.

Arlene Cohen Miller: I did.

Tim Melanson: Good. And to the listeners, make sure you subscribe, rate and comment, and we’ll see you next time on the Work At Home Rockstar Podcast.