From Burnout to Bliss: Transformative Journeys with Dr. Lisa Tan

Tim Melanson: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to today’s episode of the work at home rockstar podcast today. I’m excited for this episode. It’s actually being recorded on my birthday. So yay for that. Happy birthday to me and uh, what we

Dr. Lisa Tan: birthday, Tim! I am so ready

Tim Melanson: So we were talking to the magnetic mind Maven and what she does is she helps transform burnout to bliss.

I love it. I love burnout to bliss. This is really, really cool. So I’m excited to be rocking out today with Dr. Lisa Tan. Hey, Dr. Lisa, you ready to rock? I am so ready to rock Tim, especially on your birthday. So we always start off on a good note. So tell me a story of success in your business that we can be inspired by.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Ah, so you know what’s even better than being a TEDx speaker? It’s when your 15 year old daughter becomes a TEDx speaker. But do you know what’s even [00:01:00] better than having your daughter become a TEDx speaker? It’s when she helps another teen become a TEDx speaker. So that just completely lights me up because I was able to use My journey to help my daughter through areas of her life where she was stuck, uh, when she was about one years old, she could not make eye contact because she was in the hospital so many times.

And she learned that trick. If I don’t look at them, maybe they won’t notice that I’m here and they won’t poke another needle in me and they won’t wake me up when I’m trying to sleep. So from age of one, she has had a hard time coming out of her shell again [00:02:00] from different traumas and just being terrified.

And as we were preparing for her TEDx talk, and the reason why I chose to share this is because communication is so key, whether we’re working from home or no, or we’re talking to a dear friend. Communication is key. So I saw her evolution as we prepared for her TEDx talk. She was a teen who relied on her index cards.

She read everything. She read her entire PowerPoint slide. She had to hold on dear, dear life to her index cards whenever she had to make a presentation. And of course, she couldn’t make eye contact. It’s very hard for her to be seen, to stand in front of her peers. [00:03:00] So, as you can see, During this process, she was dealing with all her inner demons.

They were all coming up. Don’t be seen. Don’t be heard because it could be dangerous. Like those were the stories that she was still holding on to. So part of my process called the magnetic mind is to identify long term memories that are wired in our hypo campus and another part in our brain. pain center.

So it’s done very gently. These long term memories that hold us back. For example, her fear of being seen and heard. within what I like to call a window of opportunity. Um, in the neuroscience world, it’s called the window of reconsolidation, which means literally the neurons separate for a window [00:04:00] of three to five minutes.

And in that magical three to five minutes, we’re able to separate the pain from the event. And when we’re able to let go of the pain, we’re just left with the wisdom of the event. So the event can no longer hold you back. So she went from a, a teen who had trouble making eye contact. And even as we do podcasts, some of us, we have issues, right?

Looking into the camera or we’re on Facebook live, or we’re doing a summit, right? Whatever we’re working from home, these fears of public speaking come up. And by the way, the fear of public speaking is the number one fear in the world.

Tim Melanson: I know. Yeah. Isn’t that crazy? Yeah.

Dr. Lisa Tan: for all of us, all of us rock stars working from home, this is a natural fear for all of us to have that many of [00:05:00] us may have.

So to see my daughter progress from a, to a point where she was able to stand on the round red rug in front of 300 people and for it to be broadcast onto YouTube was a huge journey for her. And now she wants to help other teens share their stories, because even when we’re working from home, the power of our story is what attracts fans to us.

It’s the storytelling, right? Our brains are wired for eons for storytelling. So that is my success story, Tim, to see myself come full circle in my communication skills that I practice daily and to see my daughter come [00:06:00] full circle. And now to have her want to impact other youths so that they could also tell their stories.

Whether it’s from home, from an Instagram live, from a TikTok, you know, whatever it may be, the, the, the impact of storytelling and to be able to communicate that and to be so comfortable in their own skin to be seen, to be heard.

Tim Melanson: Yeah, that’s a huge benefit. And like you say, it’s just, it’s ingrained into us to be afraid of that public speaking type stuff. So, you know, I remember when, when I was in, in school and in middle school, they, they used to give us a choice, whether you would do like a, like a presentation in front of the class or whether you did an essay.

And, you know, almost everybody chose the essay, except for a handful of people that wanted to do the talk, I always chose the talk. My, my, my logic was that it was so much less [00:07:00] work. And I’m like, I’m kind of lazy when it comes to that. You know, so I’d rather do less work and go up and talk for, you know, three minutes or whatever it was that they made us talk for, than do it.

You know, 10 page or 20 page essay. So for me, it was like, I thought that was the easiest path. It didn’t take me long to realize that, okay, well, that’s not easy for most people. Most people would gladly choose the essay then to go up and stand in front of a class for a few minutes. Right.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Yes, and I this is where I see you shine Tim that’s why you have this rock star podcast. Um, I’m also in the smaller camp with you where I’m not as much of a writer so if you tell me to blog, that would be more of a challenge for me. But I do enjoy these conversations like what we’re having now Tim, but like for your fans out there, if they’re struggling with this [00:08:00] fear of being seen and heard this magnetic mind method.

I’ve witnessed it. turn things around for others one session. And if I were to put a QEEG, which is like a brain scan on one of your fans, as we’re doing this process, the areas where the long term memory is stored and the pain is stored, those areas actually light up, which means we’re seeing the wiring take place within those three to five minutes.

So don’t feel like you’re alone. Reach out there. There’s a way. There’s a way through this.

Tim Melanson: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. If you are afraid of public speaking there, you’re not alone. You’re in the majority. So,

Dr. Lisa Tan: Yes. So, so don’t feel that you know you’re by yourself. You’re not alone. Just hear us. You’re not alone.

Tim Melanson: but I mean, one of the things that I think, uh, you know, I, if I could probably look back, I’d probably [00:09:00] find that there were many when I had to speak out in front of people and nothing bad happened. I didn’t get eaten by tiger. So, you know, but my, my brain just kind of went, okay, well, this is not all that scary.

And I just probably continued to move forward and not be scared. But I think that when I talk to people that are still very afraid of public speaking, it tends to be the opposite. Maybe they, Either spoke out and something really bad happens or they didn’t. And then they just sort of convinced themselves that, you know, something bad would happen.

And they now kind of got even stronger on the fear of speaking out because, you know, you really, you know, oftentimes what is it? Uh, I heard a quote, it said, courage comes from surviving the attempt. And I think that that’s real. Like when you do something and you realize, even if it does go poorly, rarely goes as poorly as you thought it would. [00:10:00] And so you sort of go, okay, well, this is so bad. And then, you know, one of the things, you know, as a rock star, if we can move this to, to music, I’ve been hosting open mics and open jams for a very long time. I bring new people up on stage and here’s the, the thing that I, I found always so amazing is that, you know, you, you, you know, I’m up there and I’m trying to get somebody to go up on stage and there’s a table of four and, you know, they’re, The three friends are going, no, she can really sing.

She’s really good. You know, bring her up there. And she’s like, no, I don’t want to go up there. You know, very, very afraid to go up. And eventually, no, no, come on up, you know, I’ll help you along. And so, you know, I help her along and she sings the song and it’s, it’s, it’s pretty good. She goes back to sit down and then she wants to come back right up immediately.

It’s, it’s addictive. Like once you get that first one, like that jitters out, it makes you want to go back up there and karaoke is probably the same thing. You know, it’s. They’re so scared to get up there at the first time, but then once you get up [00:11:00] there, you’re like, Oh, but I can do better. I know what I can do now to be better the next time.

Dr. Lisa Tan: You, you hit on something, Tim. I mean, it’s about just doing that first time. I remember being in karaoke and my friends going like, Whoa, go Lisa. Right. And that first time I’m terrified, but then once I like get that one chord out, right. This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine. Like once I get out that first chord, right.

It’s okay. And then fear, right? False evidence appearing real fear. But I also want to add to that is that a lot of people don’t know why they’re scared.

Tim Melanson: Mm hmm.

Dr. Lisa Tan: And one of the reasons why they may not know why they’re terrified is because [00:12:00] research has shown that things are passed down from up to seven generations.

But if you ask me, it goes even beyond seven generations, but we’re only able to study up to seven generations. So, something could have happened to your great grandma, your great, great, great, great grandpa, and you don’t know. And that’s what I’m seeing in my clients. To give you an example, there was one client where she would make money, but for the life of her, she can’t hold on to it. And she didn’t know why until she found this out about her great grandma, a story that was never shared in her family. Um, her husband was [00:13:00] killed and she eventually remarried, but she never shared this story of her first husband being killed. And it was killed for financial reasons. So her great grandmother associated money with something very evil.

And this has been passed down to her great granddaughter now, who would make money, but for the life of her, cannot keep money. And I’m seeing this repeated in different generational patterns. So if you have a fear of public speaking, and you don’t know why, It’s also okay. We have a way to address it. So don’t beat yourself up over it.

It’s, you’re all good. I’m here to tell you nobody’s broken. We’re all rock stars. We’re all complete. Just the way you are.

Tim Melanson: Yep. Yep. Well, and, and the thing that we always have to remember is that we’re [00:14:00] amazing at learning new things. People can learn anything really well, maybe not anything, but we can learn a lot. And so if there’s something that’s holding you back, I mean, you know, sometimes we get stuck in this pattern of like, well, no, that’s just me.

I’m just, I’m just shy. You know, I just, it’s just me, but you don’t have to be, you can always learn those new skills and, you know, Learning to not be shy is maybe challenging, you know, it might be, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be overcome. And I think what really matters is, is just making that decision to go, okay, is this me being shy helping me or is it hurting me in the long run?

And if it’s hurting you, well, then that might be a good enough reason to go, okay, well, maybe I should address this whole shy thing. If it’s working for you, then by all means, but for most, in most cases, being a little bit more, you know, uh, you know, outgoing, I guess, is usually a good thing in a lot of [00:15:00] circumstances.

There’s, you know, some time in your life when you’re going to be, when it’ll serve you to be able to just step out and address whatever it is. And. You know, be seen. Right. So, you know, and, and now we’re talking to somebody who actually knows how to, how to, like, has a process to fix that. Right.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Yes, but that I that’s why I want to show so much appreciation for your podcast him for all the work at home rock stars, who may be feeling alone, where these inner voices come up, especially when we’re working at home alone, that, you know, Tim’s podcasts would be such a good resource for you to address things that come up.

So I, I want to commend you for offering this to all the entrepreneurs, work at home, moms, dads, who have anyone who’s working at home, that this is such a great resource.

Tim Melanson: Thank [00:16:00] you. Thank you so much. So now along with the good notes, sometimes there’s things that don’t go as planned. And I mean, we’re talking about some of that already, but for you, was there, was there something that just, you know, some big mistake or some big, you know, failure that happened that we can learn from?

Dr. Lisa Tan: Um,

Tim Melanson: Sorry. Hmm.

Dr. Lisa Tan: no, this is about being real, right? Like when we can share our stories, we learn from one another. I had to go because it took me right back to that moment of, um, when my husband, he, he hit rock bottom financially, um, my pharmacy had just closed down, so I was looking for my next step in life and, uh, my daughter was Uh, just diagnosed with Lyme disease.

So, and most doctors didn’t even know how to diagnose it because it [00:17:00] normally does not come up in the usual panels. And so everything was out of pocket. You know, we didn’t have medical insurance at the time. Um, and I honestly did not know how to pay for some of these medical expenses. So I was trying to figure out how do I stay at home with her?

To take care of her and Megan’s meat. So we wind up, I moved back in with my parents. We all stayed in one bedroom, all four of us. And, and yeah, like I remember getting a 700 doctor’s bill going. Wow. With everything else going on, how are we going to keep up with these weekly doctor bills that are coming in, in addition to the prescriptions that weren’t [00:18:00] working, the side effects weren’t helping her.

Um, so I had to, I had one of those moments, 2 a. m. moments, screaming silently in, inside, with my kids laying right next to me, going, somebody, can somebody help me? How the heck? Am I going to get out of this situation? And someone did, I was scrolling through YouTube and he asked me, where is the richest place on earth?

And I go, well, United States, wrong, the graveyard. Her stories are never [00:19:00] told. I love you’s never said. Forgiveness never given. Dreams never dreamt. And at that moment, I said, No, that is not me. This is not me. This is no longer me. Things have to change.

So I said, Okay. What are we going to do differently. I don’t want to take this story, this chapter of my life to the graveyard, my life, ain’t going to end like this on this note on this musical or lack of a musical note,

and I met a homeschooling mom,

and I said, Oh, I’ve never homeschooled. The school was not working out for her. You know, she couldn’t even get to school. She couldn’t stay in[00:20:00]

and my sister gave me an idea.

What about going back to China for a while. I still had relatives there. We could like really cut down on our expense living expenses. So on this gut feeling, I had a full body. Yes. Every single cell in my body tingled from feeling completely dead inside to full on. Yes, I’m going. So we did, we packed up and we spent a year in Asia on a shoestring, but it turned out to be the best year of our life learning to live outside our comfort zone.[00:21:00]

Learning to live anywhere. Well, by the way, one of my favorite places in Asia is called the Mindful Farm. If anyone has a chance to go, look up the Mindful Farm. Uh, the toilet was a hole in the ground.

Tim Melanson: Wow.

Dr. Lisa Tan: We started everything with, uh, wood, wood fire, right? The farmer, the leader of the group of this farm says, no, don’t give me a propane tank.

The whole point is to slow down in life. is to appreciate the moment and be in the moment and to appreciate the hole in the ground

to appreciate the harvest. And[00:22:00]

that was the best year of my life to know that I can survive anything. My kids can survive anything, including Lyme disease.

We’ll be okay.

Tim Melanson: Wow. That’s powerful.

Dr. Lisa Tan: And we came back and we rebuilt. We rebuilt. We managed to, um, we found a property that nobody wanted. It was a dumpster. Uh, we were the only bidders, but I saw potential in the house. I saw potential when nobody else saw potential in this property. Uh, we fixed it up, we flipped it, and we made a comeback.

Tim Melanson: Wow. [00:23:00] Very good. Well done.

Dr. Lisa Tan: is super healthy, and I mentioned she’s a TEDx speaker, and I believe it is in her journey that allowed her to be so resilient. So whether we choose to stay at home to succeed, We can do it. We can do it.

Tim Melanson: Wow. That’s amazing. Wow. So that was such a great story. Oh, so

Dr. Lisa Tan: We were just talking about storytelling, right? The power of storytelling. And I always say, if just one other person on the other end heard this story, and it got them through their dark night of the soul, it’s all worth it.

Tim Melanson: yeah, I agree. I agree. And we, we tend to, [00:24:00] we tend to think that our problems are the worst out there. And then you hear stories from people that are experiencing much worse.

Dr. Lisa Tan: No, it’s not.

Tim Melanson: and, and recovering from it. Right. And that’s, I mean, that’s the reason why I want to talk about the bad note in the podcast, because

Dr. Lisa Tan: The kids we saw in the schools. Oh, oh my goodness. They have a way worse. Like we have a good here, we have it so good here.

Tim Melanson: yeah, it gives you a real perspective when you, when you start to see the other side. And you know, even what you said about picking the, you know, the dump, you know, and buying the dump, like that, that is just something that so many people just wouldn’t do. They just wouldn’t, they’re like, no, I’m not, you know, I’m not stupid down to that level or whatever it happens to be right.

Or, but I mean, If you’re struggling, then there is a recorrection. There’s a correction that’s happening right now. Like you’re, you know, whatever has happened, the lifestyle that you’re living or [00:25:00] that, that set point that you’re at is too high for whatever’s going on in your head. You’ve got to come down a little bit and build back up again.

That’s,

Dr. Lisa Tan: Sure.

Tim Melanson: like it’s normal, right?

Dr. Lisa Tan: yeah, and my favorite quote that my mom raised us on is when the sky falls. Use it as a blanket. It’s it’s that kept going through my mind those years, like literally like, okay, what am I going to do? Like, how am I going to turn this into my blanket? Right. To keep me warm.

Tim Melanson: Wow. So let’s talk a little bit about practice. Like what does, what does practice makes perfect practice makes progress mean to you?

Dr. Lisa Tan: So as I was sharing earlier, communication is so important. Like Warren Buffett says, if we all work on our communication, even by just a smidge, we can skyrocket our businesses, our [00:26:00] ROIs by 40%. So practice makes perfect for me means practicing communication and I’ve been lucky enough and I’m sharing this because it’s open to all. called Speaker Nation. There’s a practice group on Mondays and Fridays. It’s the most safe, welcoming, catapulting practice I’ve been a part of. So if you have a fear. of anything. Because when we’re practicing communication, all the other fears come up. Everything comes up. We’re literally working on ourselves.

Um, come to this practice group and I’m happy to share it with Tim. So Practice Makes Perfect is walking your talk. If there’s an area of your life that you want to get better at, it ain’t gonna happen doing nothing. You gotta do [00:27:00] something about it. Commit to it, put it on your calendar, let it happen at least once a week.

So if for me, it’s communication. For you, It could be, what’s a good example, Tim, what, what are some things that your fans like to work on? Um, maybe doing a Facebook live, right. Working up the courage to do a Facebook live, um, marketing, right. You know, commit making that commitment is key. Putting it on your calendar is key.

And then part of my practice makes perfect.

Right. Once you commit, you set aside a time. And what I recommend, what I just learned from Jason Fladian, the goat of webinars, 30 minute timer. Once you commit [00:28:00] so that you’re not distracted in this 30 minutes, you focus on your commitment, whatever it is. And when the timer goes off, you stop so that you’re training yourself, your, your commitment muscles To dedicate that time, focus, and when it’s stop, you stop.

When it’s go, you go. And this has been a game changer for me.

Tim Melanson: that. And also like I think I think part of it is that you have to be okay with not being perfect. You know, the whole point of it is that if you want to get good at something, you have to be okay with being bad at it first, right? And that, and that’s a struggle for a lot of people. A lot of people like to think that they’re, you know, they’re comparing themselves, especially in the days of social media.

You’re always comparing yourself against the highlight reels of somebody else. You, you know, you watch them do their presentation. You’re like, wow, okay, there’s [00:29:00] no way I can do that. But I love what you’re suggesting with these practice groups because you probably will see other people who are also learning and growing as well.

So you might see some imperfect presentations that might make you feel like, Hey, maybe I can do this, right?

Dr. Lisa Tan: And the key is that it’s a safe environment, especially if it’s your first time. You want it to be in such a nurturing, safe environment that it catapults you, you want that first time to launch you. So you want to be surrounded by, and these mentors in this group, FYI, it’s free.

Tim Melanson: Ooh, freeze good.

Dr. Lisa Tan: And this is better than, I don’t want to say the other group, but there’s other common practice groups out there.

Tim Melanson: Yes. Awesome. Good. Yeah. I’ve never heard of that one, but I have heard of some other ones. I’m sure you’re [00:30:00] probably thinking about, but, but yeah, the, I like, I do always recommend, I recommend that I recommend karaoke too.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Yes, karaoke. It’s great for learning a foreign language. And, by the way, Mel, I’m so happy you brought up karaoke, because it also helped my daughter tremendously. She picked up singing, and it opens up your vote, your, uh,

why did I just go

Tim Melanson: Probably your throat chakra.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Tim read my mind! Oh my goodness, I love this! I’m like, oh! Where did those two words go? I was just about to say it. Yes. Oh, now that you brought up throat chakra, my throat chakra is actually blocked. So I’ve actually been working on opening that up. So Tim brought up, you brought up a perfect point.

Karaoke. Take away karaoke.

Tim Melanson: Yeah, music is just so powerful, right? It connects with so many things. And, [00:31:00] and, uh, and so, I mean, you can be thinking about your favorite song rather than thinking about a business presentation that you’re about to give, right? It’s just, it’s just different. Right.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Oh, it is so different. Oh,

Tim Melanson: it’s, and it’s a similar environment to where, where like, when you go to a karaoke bar, I always think about this when, like, imagine you’re sitting in an audience and someone gets up on, on stage for their karaoke, or they get up on stage for their business presentation.

Are you like rooting for them to fail? No, you want them to succeed. If something goes weird, everybody’s kind of like going like, come on, come on, come on, they’re rooting for you to like, to get it right. Right. And I think about that from the energy perspective. I, I, you know, I believe in energy. And so I think, okay, well, if I’m up on stage, that means that everybody in the audience or most people, anyway, there might be a couple people, but most people are sending me, get it done energy.

They’re sending me like positive energy and you, you really do feed from [00:32:00] that. And I think that’s probably why things like karaoke make you feel so good. Cause everybody’s so, Like sending you all this great energy and wanting you to succeed. And it just kind of like, it just fills you up, right?

Dr. Lisa Tan: don’t know why I just thought about this as you’re speaking. Along the lines of karaoke. I’m going to give a challenge to the work at home rock stars out there who’s listening. Sing out of tune. I dare you.

Tim Melanson: It’s hard.

Dr. Lisa Tan: And it could be easier to sing out of tune than to sing in tune, at least

Tim Melanson: Depends on who you are.

Dr. Lisa Tan: But do this on maybe your next Facebook live.

And do you know what? You might get more likes on there than if you try to be perfect. So just tell you another story. I was, [00:33:00] um, I joined a competition called the great American speak off and not just me, anyone can join by the way, season three is happening right now of the great American speak off it’s free to go for the auditions.

And I could also share that link with Tim. I actually encourage all of you because you get coaching and then you do your two minutes and it’s online. And guess what? If you make it to the finals, do you know where you get to go? You get to go to Grant Cardone’s 10X conference and deliver it there.

Tim Melanson: Oh, wow. Oh yeah.

Dr. Lisa Tan: to lose, right? So as part of my two minutes, I sung in tune for my closing, and then I purposely went out of tune. I challenged myself. And boy, did I get the judges attention. So, for fun. [00:34:00] I’m just throwing it out there for fun, right? If we ain’t having fun, it ain’t worth it. So have fun with us.

Tim Melanson: Awesome. Well, it’s time for your guest solo. So tell me what’s exciting in your business right now.

Dr. Lisa Tan: So what’s really exciting, you see that book behind me? Mission Accepted, 262 Women. Mission Accepted, 262

Tim Melanson: That’s awesome.

Dr. Lisa Tan: Women. So this is a compilation of volunteers in Africa, entrepreneurs, ladies who are working at the United Nations, women from all walks of life. So my business, I’m actually specifically helping women professionals. Sorry men, I’ll expand later, but for now, my niche is for women professionals, and I like to call, I’m building a global hive.

For all the queen bees out there. So this is a compilation of some of the women in [00:35:00] my hive. And this book will be gifted at the Emmys this September.

Tim Melanson: Wow.

Dr. Lisa Tan: This is exciting. It’s exciting. Not only because it will be gifted at the Emmys, it’s exciting because it’s turning international women’s day. Into an everyday celebration in every single part of the world where International Women’s Day cannot even be spoken, cannot even be recognized.

That is the power behind this movement of 262. So I really want to highlight this, where women can be fully seen and fully heard. And for those who cannot speak, just yet, for [00:36:00] different cultural, political reasons, they know that they have sisters. In other parts of the world standing up for them.

Tim Melanson: So is it possible for anybody to get that book?

Dr. Lisa Tan: It’s on Amazon right now as we speak, so I’m happy to share that link too. So it’s available on Amazon? Yes.

Tim Melanson: Awesome. And how do people

Dr. Lisa Tan: support this project,

Tim Melanson: Awesome. That’s what I was just going to ask. So we can go to Amazon to get that book. And how can people get in touch with you?

Dr. Lisa Tan: So my website is. www. drlisatan. com. And for all you rock stars out there, I would love to connect and gift you [00:37:00] one month free membership into this global hive. Because like I said, I’m, I’m all about building this hive. I, It means the world to me, and if I could just change one trajectory of one queen bee out there, so that they no longer feel like they’re just a worker bee, but that they’re a queen in their own life, it’s all worth it.

So come check out the membership. Just try it out. Test drive it. See if it’s right for you.

Tim Melanson: Awesome. Thank you so much for rocking out with me today, Dr. Lisa Tan. This has been a lot of fun.

Dr. Lisa Tan: I’ve had so much fun. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday [00:38:00] dearest to you. You are a rock star to us.

Tim Melanson: Thank you so much. And to the Rockstars listening, make sure you subscribe, rate, and comment. And we’ll see you next time on the Work at Home Rockstar Podcast.