Mastering Fatherhood: Balancing Health, Family, and Business with Javier Montes

Tim Melanson: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to today’s episode of the work at home rock star podcast.

Excited for today. We’ve got the founder of focused father mastermind, and he’s also an Amazon bestselling author. And what he does is he empowers fathers to refine the roles, help them balance their financial goals, their health, their fitness, their family time, all that stuff.

So I’m excited to be rocking out today with Javier Montez. Javier, are you ready to rock? Yes, sir. Born ready to rock. Good. So tell me a story of success that we can be inspired by.

Javier Montes: Awesome, Tim. For those of you that are watching us on YouTube, I’m going to put up a quick little, visual here so that we can follow along.

So this is a little quick story on, how I got it a little backstory, right? So for me, it started in 2016. It was another early groggy morning for me. I was brushing my teeth like every other morning, right? Half asleep. And I’m in front of the sink and I felt toothpaste drip down my mouth onto my shirt and I was like, wow, that’s odd, [00:01:00] right?

So I look up at the mirror and I realized that the entire right side of my face was paralyzed. And Tim, the first thought that goes to my head is, Oh my God, I’m having a stroke. I quickly woke up my wife. I had a rush for you to the emergency room and there, of course, they’ve run all these tests, right?

So blood tests, heart tests, brain tests, all kinds of stuff. And finally, the doctor came in and he tells me, well, Javier, I have some good news and some bad news for you. The good news is you’re not having a stroke. The bad news is you have something called Bell’s Palsy, Bell’s Palsy. I was like, what in the world is that?

I never even heard of this thing. So for those of you that can watch, there’s a picture of me, just an average dude with my two daughters in July of 2016. A few weeks later, we were celebrating my wife’s birthday, and this is what someone with Bell’s Palsy looks like. As you can see there, right, look kind of weird, a little bit deformed in my face.

It’s just because my right side just had no reaction to any, you know, Muscles or anything. And my left side there was trying to smile for the picture. It looked like something [00:02:00] serious has happened to me, even though it didn’t feel like anything. So backtrack to the ER,

So the doctor went on to tell me, Hey, the thing is that there’s no treatment for this. It just kind of goes away on its own. And there’s about a 30 percent chance that your facial paralysis will never make a full recovery back to normal. Naturally, of course, my next question to him was, well, like, how did I get this?

Like, what caused this? And he says to me, Javier, we really don’t know, but usually it’s triggered by high levels of stress. Stress. I looked at him real puzzled, and I was like, I’m not stressed. I mean, I know what stressed out people look like, and I definitely was not one of those. Or maybe was I, right? So when I got home that day, I jumped on my computer and I looked up like, what are some of the symptoms of stress?

Right. So I went on Google, I punched it up, symptoms of high stress. And here’s some of the things that came out irritable, angry, overwhelmed, anxious, racing thoughts that you can’t switch off, lost your sense of [00:03:00] humor, lonely, trouble sleeping, tension and pressure around the neck, weight gain, high cortisol levels.

And like many of you that are probably watching this right now, I was experiencing almost. All of these, right, Tim, you ever felt any of these yeah, yeah. Right. You know, so I didn’t really consider myself like different or sick. I’ve been an entrepreneur most of my life I’ve had businesses and this was just a normal way of life for me.

So I definitely didn’t consider myself to be. Anything special or sick or any of that. So I sat there kind of quietly staring at this list and I began to kind of reflect and take inventory of my life. And I was like, let me just kind of break this down for myself. And I thought, well, financially I was always taught to be a hard worker, right?

So I was working as hard as I could. But there always felt like there was too much month left at the end of every check, you know what I mean? Zero percent promotional credit card offers They always seem to come [00:04:00] in at the right time to give me like just enough breathing room to get through my current financial pinch Physically, well on this day I suddenly realized that I was officially rocking the dad bod.

Sure, I didn’t have the same body that I had in high school, and I was telling myself that I was going to get back to the gym and start working out again as soon as, well, I’d probably been saying that to myself every month, probably for a few years now. I felt usually pretty tired and sluggish, so red bulls were almost a daily occurrence for me.

Costco packs of ibuprofen to deal with the headaches I was getting three to four times a week was also a necessity in my house. And of course, because I was so jacked up on Red Bull, I had trouble sleeping, so my drink of choice for the evening was usually some Advil PMs. And then I’d look at, well, my relationships, right?

So I had a few friends, they’d become more like acquaintances now. And I just figured, well, I mean, they’re all just busy doing the dad thing, right? So we’re all busy. And of course I couldn’t be a good friend because I was busy too, [00:05:00] trying to focus on my business, focus on my wife, focus on my kids. So kind of the friendships went a little bit, just disconnected for this point.

And I thought about, well, my relationship with my wife, right? And I thought about her and I realized that. I really didn’t know of what she was really feeling that much. I honestly, like, I didn’t have much more brain space left to have any deep, meaningful conversations with her. Our conversations usually revolved around what school functions, doctor’s appointments, birthday parties, and like planning our next family vacation to get away from it all.

You know what I mean? Right? Tim, I mean, I ask your listeners, you know, just think about this now, right? Do you really know what’s going on in your wife’s world right now? I mean, do you know what she’s currently most looking forward to, or is there something that’s worrying her right now? What about for those of you who are fathers and have kids?

What’s going on in your kids worlds right now? Reflecting on all this, right, this kind of inventory of my life, I was like, well, I guess maybe I could be a [00:06:00] little bit stressed. But more importantly, I realized that I wasn’t really too proud of the life that I was living. And I felt, well, I mean, there’s not really much I can do.

I just got to keep pushing it along and hopefully something’s going to change. I just kept going. I went back into my regular routine. And I remember a few weeks later, I was trying to finish up some work, right here at this desk where we’re sitting right now. My two older daughters were, in this couch right behind me, and they were kind of bickering at each other, about something, and I remember very clearly that I was just trying to focus, and they kept on, and I just jumped out of my chair, and I screamed at them with such a monster like anger that came out of me that I’ve never seen before, and of course, I scared them half to death, but more importantly, I remember that for the next three days, I was crying myself to sleep with how much guilt I felt.

outro music plays And at this point I knew something had to change, right? Insanity is the same, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. So I knew I needed to change, I just had no idea how. I mean, I didn’t know where do [00:07:00] I begin, right?

So my pride was too big to ask anybody for help. And of course, I didn’t want to seem weak to my wife. Then naturally the next best thing that I could think of was I began reading books. Lots and lots and lots of books. And I spent probably the next 24 months going through all this information that I was reading.

So one of the common themes that I found in all these books was that the key to happiness and a happy life is one big D word called Discipline, right? And I thought to myself, well, how am I going to develop discipline? So I began looking for, well, how can I work on developing and being a more disciplined person?

And one of these books stood out and said, well, the best way to develop discipline is to challenge yourself to break some limiting beliefs you have about yourself. And I said, well, I don’t really know what limiting beliefs I have. But after some thought, I came across and I said, well, you know what, at 36 years old, I’ve never been able to run a full mile without walking.

So I said, I’m going to challenge myself to go out there and [00:08:00] jog and do it until I can run a full mile. So that became my next goal. And as I kept reading books, I came across another book that said you should 10X your goals. And 10X is easier than 2X, right? And I said, well, if I’m going to run a mile, well, maybe I could just run a marathon.

So, my next obsession became running a marathon. And so I got up the next day and I remember I went outside my house early in the morning and I started jogging. With this whole mindset, I’m gonna do this. And I ran about eight house lengths down the block.

And I was gasped for air. I mean, I just stopped. I was like, Oh my God, this is, this is going to be real difficult. I don’t know how I’m going to do this, but I made a promise to myself that day that I was going to get up every single day and I was going to add one more house length every day. And if I did that, eventually I was going to get to a mile and eventually I was going to be able to get a little bit longer.

So the next day I got up and I ran nine houses. The next day I got up and I ran 10 houses and fast forward five and a half years later. I did the [00:09:00] impossible and I completed a full 26. 2 mile marathon, something that my 36 year old self again had never run, not even one mile. during that time I learned, I changed, and I grew so much that I became an entirely different person.

The discipline that I developed while running towards this marathon, it poured into every other area of my life without me kind of realizing it. Financially, I learned and I made drastic changes with my money. I ended up paying off my house and I’ve now reached financial independence for my family.

Physically, I learned and made a lot of changes in the way I was exercising. Obviously the running towards the marathon. I went, started going to the gym. I got into the best shape of my life. I now have an abundance of energy. I feel 10 times more confident, proud of my body and my health. My headaches, they have completely disappeared.

And I haven’t taken a single Advil in the last two years. My relationships, well, my wife and I were the [00:10:00] deepest in love that we’ve ever been. And my kids will wholeheartedly tell you that they feel like they have the best dad in the world. Today, I feel happy and blessed.

I’m very proud of the life that I’m living every single day. Now my friends often bust my chops. They’re like, I’ll be here. Is that really you? They Photoshopped yourself on that body. It’s not, man. It’s really my body. It’s something that I’ve worked for, you know, again, day in day out. And I’m really proud of, and yes, that is my family down there.

They do love me. They’re not Photoshopped either. You know, I say this because this is really what kind of fuels me right now. You see, I believe that the next generation needs every father to learn how to protect and provide for their family without having to sacrifice their own health and happiness. As part of my life’s mission, I’ve helped hardworking fathers.

Just like you speed up all their financial goals and improve their health all while creating more time with their wife and kids so they can get back to enjoying life again. [00:11:00] So that’s a little bit of my story, Tim. That’s kind of my journey, how I ended up doing this and working.

It’s work that I’m really passionate about, right? I’ve had different businesses in the past. With music comes in my last business I sold in 2018, and that was an entertainment business. So I started off as a young DJ and it grew to this big enterprise. 350 events a year.

And things were going great, but I made a decision. I didn’t want to do that anymore because I was becoming more of a family man. Right? So I wanted my nights and weekends back and it just wasn’t fitting my lifestyle anymore. That led me to be at home. And then I said, well, now I need to work on something that I’m really passionate about.

And everything kept pointing back to exactly this direction right here. The one thing I’m most passionate about is my children’s, being a father, and being a husband to my wife. And this work, yes, I’m not, I don’t make the amount of money I used to make back then. But, My lifestyle is completely changed. I do something I’m very proud of.

I’m [00:12:00] making an impact in the world. I’m helping other men become better versions of themselves. And I think that that’s, what’s going to be the key to eventually change the world for the next generation.

Tim Melanson: I agree. You know, what frustrates me probably the most about like hearing people that are unhappy with their life versus the people that are super happy with their life.

Is that almost everybody that’s super happy with their life. That’s something really crazy happened to them. Like, you know, you developed Bell’s Palsy, it’s a pretty big deal. Like, that’s going to motivate anybody to do something about their health, right? Why does it take that much? Why did most people not change?

Like, how can they just keep doing something that’s mildly unhappy, rather than changing right then?

Javier Montes: You know, I asked myself the same question. Like, why didn’t I change before? Why did I have to come to that? You know, part of it is we get stuck in habits, right? Another one of the books, Atomic Habits, that I love.

I recommend it to most of my clients. Most of the things we do, 80 percent of what we do every day is a habit. [00:13:00] So, anything outside of that is uncomfortable, right? If you’re the type of person who, when you go jump in the shower, right? You, you wash your hair first with shampoo, and then you lather your body with soap.

If you consciously try to do it backwards, right? Lather your body with soap first, and then wash your hair. It’s gonna be uncomfortable. You’re gonna feel ugly. And then you’re gonna go back down again. So just as simple as that, you know, most of what we do every day is uncomfortable. So if we do try to do something different, right.

One day we say, you know what? I kind of, I don’t like the work I’m doing. I’m going to start looking for something else. First, we start with inspiration and we start doing it. But before you know it, within a few days, we start feeling ugly and like, Oh, this is not for me. And then we re question and say, go back to the default and go back to our habits.

And that’s what just feels comfortable, right? There’s not friction. There’s not pressure there. And I think that that has a big role and that affects us a lot. Any moment of Discomfort [00:14:00] has always turned around to be a place for growth for me, but it it’s not a pretty place and most people tend to avoid that.

I think that’s part of the difficulty is knowing it and I think that’s where passion and you know, something that aligns with what you truly believe in has to kick in to continue to fuel you forward. That’s what the important part is because the belief in that the reason why you’re doing it has to be so strong.

That that’s what kind of motivates us and keeps us inspired to keep going down that path until that becomes the new normal.

Tim Melanson: And that’s where the why comes in. I think that’s probably is the reason why people have to hit a rock bottom before they make a change because the why isn’t strong enough until something really, really bad happens, right?

Javier Montes: Yeah, it’s again, I don’t know what comes first, right? The chicken or the egg. It’s one of those things, right? For some of us and for me, definitely right. You just have to be pushed into it. I had to develop this Bell’s palsy. I had to get What I call punched in the face, [00:15:00] literally, or figuratively, no pun intended, to say, all right, you got to do something different.

This is not working out. You’re not going down the right path and looking at it now. it’s so obvious. Like there’s nothing going right for you, dude. Right? Like, why didn’t you just make a change? You’re seeing things that are wrong. So blatantly right in front of your face, but we’re so blinded, right?

It’s crazy. But like I say, hindsight is 2020. So now I can say it, but. At the time, I didn’t feel any different. I didn’t feel anything was wrong. I just had to keep going. I didn’t love it. I wasn’t proud of it, but it’s what I knew how to do. And I think one of the keys that I teach my students all the time is, you know, the input equals the output, right?

So we’ve all, wherever we are right now. That is the result of everything that you’ve learned up until this point. We’ve, so we’ve heard things and what, but maybe we haven’t really learned them. Right? Because if we really knew how to do anything better, we would have already [00:16:00] done it for ourselves because we’re the only person to benefit from it.

Right? So if that’s true, then again, my story would make sense. I had to learn a new programming that I spent two years in books reading other people’s success stories, reading how they got there and how they did it.

I needed new programming, new input to get a new output. The same thing was not going to work.

Tim Melanson: Yeah. I love that you’re mentioning programming because some of the things that you mentioned earlier about your, whatever it was, the Advil and all that, this stuff is programming that’s been on us by advertising industry, promoting products.

And you know, it’s been totally normalized, like an Advil every night. Really? You got headaches so bad, like, and that’s totally normal to them. They’re like, Oh, you got a problem with headaches? No problem here. How did the Advil? And I mean, That’s the thing is that when we are looking at the TV or when a lot of people spend a lot of time watching TV, that programming is constantly coming into your head and it’s telling you that, Oh, no, don’t worry [00:17:00] about that.

That’s all fine. I mean, we got it. We got a drug for that. Whereas, you know, if you were to read lots of other books on, you know, holistic health and on personal growth and all that stuff, you find out that Maybe getting out and exercising might help with that headache. Maybe cutting down on your distress in your lifestyle, might help with that, which in your case, it absolutely did.

Right. But unfortunately, those fixes don’t make money swiping companies. And so that’s not what they’re promoting. That’s not what they’re trying to program us with.

Javier Montes: Yeah, I mean, I remember I still have these conversations with my wife, right? She’s, we talk about different things. One of them was the Advils, right?

So she kind of like tells me every now and then, right? Like I’ll get a little, you know, some tension or something I worked out. And she’s like, Hey, just take some Advils. I don’t need to, right? She’s like, but just take it. It’s no big deal. I’m like, I get it. But it’s not something that I’m, in terrible pain.

It’s a little bit and no big deal. Maybe I didn’t sleep well that night or something. And my body’s telling me. I need to sleep a [00:18:00] little more, so if I take the Advil and it takes away the pain, then I don’t listen to my body and I don’t get to bed early like my body’s saying I need to get to bed. Right?

And it’s just one of these things that we just, I grew up like that. You have a headache, take some pills. And not ever did I cross my mind to say, well, what’s the root of all this? Right. Where’s the cause coming from? Right. And it’s really the programming that’s come in to, to our world.

I mean, one of the funny conversations I have with my wife all the time is I’ve become a, an anti soda drinker. Right. So just gotten completely away from it. I don’t drink it. I don’t like it anymore. Right. You know, when we have some of my kids gatherings or we have a birthday party or something, she’s like, Oh, okay.

Can you go, go buy cokes and go buy Sprite and go buy this? And I’m like, I don’t want to buy any of this. Why do we have to buy it? It’s a party, baby. You have to buy, I guess people want it. I said, no, no, no. What do you mean? I have to buy it. It’s a party. So you have to buy coke. I don’t understand that, but it’s become so ingrained that, Oh, you have to serve [00:19:00] coke at a birthday party.

It’s just what you do. And I’m like, no. And we have these little discussions, right? I tell her I feel guilty serving this to the other children that are coming to. I understand it’s what they like. At our birthday parties, we are not going to serve this poison to the kids that are coming. I’m, sorry, we’ll serve waters.

We’ll serve juices. We’ll serve protein shakes. I mean, I don’t know something else They’re like, oh, nobody’s gonna want to come to our parties. I said, well, you know what? That’s the way I feel better because i’m not serving this Always into them. But it’s crazy because it is uncomfortable for me.

Right. And it’s a little hard discussion to have. And even people like you have a birthday party, you got to have Coke. You just, it’s the way we’re programmed. You go have a burger, you have to have Coke. You go have pizza, you have to have Coke. Where did this come from? But it is the programming and it’s a programming that just keeps in drilled in our minds by again, these big companies or the way we were raised and anything outside of that is uncomfortable.

And it was uncomfortable for me to make some of these changes. Once you’re there, [00:20:00] now this is the new comfortable. Now this is the new area and you start enjoying life like that. And anything outside of that is uncomfortable.

Marc Mawhinney: Hi, it’s Mark Mawinney from Natural Born Coaches. And I want to give two very big thumbs up to Tim Melanson and his creative crew agency.

I have been using them for a long time and I am 100 percent happy. They get the job done right. They are fast and they let me focus on my business. I don’t have to worry about anything. So again, I want to give them two very big thumbs up. I have no problem recommending them. I don’t give testimonials for everyone because my name is attached to it.

But I gladly do so for Tim and the Creative Crew Agency. So use them. You won’t regret it.

Javier Montes: Now, tying it back to our work, right? Now my work is so meaningful. It’s so impactful. I could talk with you all day about this. I could talk with you all day about helping [00:21:00] other people say, follow what you’re most passionate about.

If it’s music, work on the music. You probably have so much fire inside you for that music that it’s not going to feel like work. Right? We’ve all heard, you know, if you work what you’re passionate about, you’re never going to work a day in your life. And it’s very true.

We just, we get caught up in all this, well, it doesn’t make me money right now, so I can’t do it. And then we end up never doing it. One of my mentors told me one time, you know what? If you’re busy and you’re working for a paycheck, right? That’s fine, you can do that full time.

But just start little by little to start working on the stuff you’re very passionate about part time, just one hour a week, and little by little, that will slowly start to creep in and take up more and more of your time and will eventually start making you a little bit more money. Things you could do from home and eventually you’re going to be so empowered by that.

Like I wake up every day excited and energized about the work I’m going to do that day. I’m fired up. [00:22:00] It’s so motivating, right? I used to roll out of bed, right? Oh, it’s Monday tomorrow. Oh, thank God. It’s Friday, right? Like what?

You know, now I look at it and I’m like, wow, silly of me. Like what kind of life was that? And before, you know, you’re 40, 50, 60 years old and now you’re looking forward to retirement, like just to finish all that chapter. And then what? Like, you know, it’s, Oh, but that’s, you know, a job is safe. I mean, if you want safety, huddle up in the corner, we’ll feed you three times a day.

We’ll bring you a warm blanket and you can stay in that safe corner for the rest of your life. You’re like, yeah, Javier, but like, what kind of life is that? Exactly. What kind of a life is that? And then for me, what’s very passionate is, you know, everything we do, and this is for the women too.

Everything we do, we are teaching our children. It just rolls down and it could be a generational blessing or it could be a generational curse, but our children [00:23:00] mimic us. They copy us. They understand how to live life by doing what we did. We can’t go around telling our kids, yeah, do something meaningful and something you’re very passionate about.

But then we’re doing something we’re not passionate about. We’re complaining about it every day. You can’t. Kids will do what you do, not what you say. We wanna, like, oh, wanna teach you the right way, don’t do what I did, but they’re gonna do exactly what you did. If you smoke, your kids are gonna smoke. If you drink, your kids are gonna drink.

If you are unhealthy, your kids are gonna be unhealthy. If you’re unhappy, your kids are gonna be unhappy. they will do what you do, not what you say. And the day that you decide enough is enough, It’s time for a change. That’s the day that you will begin changing the generational curses.

Otherwise, your children are going to deal with the same demons you’ve been dealing with. Your children’s children are going to deal with that until somebody is brave enough to start making that change, to be uncomfortable for a little while, and start making changes for the better. And then your entire [00:24:00] descendants, your entire lineage, We’ll be changed forever.

And if you won’t do it for yourself, because most of the time we all find, we don’t value ourselves enough to do it for ourselves. Do it for your children. Forget about you, and just start thinking about your children.

Do it for them. Make those hard changes and choices today for them. Find something that will motivate you. And it’s usually got to be something bigger than ourselves. And that’s how you start making huge monumental changes. But it all starts with one tiny little discipline.

Tim Melanson: Okay. So let’s talk about, let’s imagine that someone is at the point right now where they know they need to change. They need to make some changes in their life. However, maybe they have a family. Maybe they have a great paycheck right now. And you know, that’s supporting a specific lifestyle, but they have.

I think most men are probably thinking that that’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation to have with their wife, to say, listen, we need to take a paycheck because I don’t like my job. [00:25:00] How does that conversation go? And how do you think that most wives are going to handle that conversation? Most families are going to handle that conversation.

Javier Montes: So I’ve had that conversation. So. I think it’s an important conversation to start having, right? I think a family unit, you need to work together. And as you work together, the most important thing is to develop a plan. There are different styles of persons and personalities and how you feel comfortable when you’re making changes, right?

Some people are more risky and other people like to play very safe, right? And they like to not be so risky. So for some people, some of my clients that I’ve talked to, it comes down to Okay, let’s set up ourselves financially. Well, we have a runway where I can begin working on this for a set amount of time.

So what is it going to take to create a financial runway for you for 12 months? Let’s just say we’re going to need 50, 000. Okay. Well, let’s start working on that today. So let’s start putting money aside. Just [00:26:00] like if it was a regular bill, very small and start working towards having 50, 000 saved up.

Because. If you had the 50, 000 and you say, I can stop working. I can live off this 50, 000 while I work on this work. I’m really passionate about, and that’s going to make you feel safe and secure. Then that’s what you need to do. Other people like to be more risky and say, you know what? When my feet are to the fire, that is when I.

Push and I work right. If I feel safe and comfortable, then I kind of coast those people. Maybe their plan might be different, right? Those people may say, you know what? I am going to have a little bit saved up and I’m going to start working right away, right now. And what the plan is in 60 days, I’m going to.

Maybe quit my job. I’m going to turn in my two or three week notice. Let’s start doing my job full time, but I’m going to start working on this part time and every week I’m going to start cranking a little bit more time into this and dedicating a little bit more time and start [00:27:00] developing a decent revenue stream.

Now I know it’s going to be very difficult for this revenue to ever overtake our job. Right? But we got to get it to a point where we feel comfortable enough that now it’s kind of steady, it’s coming in, it’s a little something, and now we can make the leap and downgrade our lifestyle for a little while.

As a family, you guys can take the sacrifice. Make the sacrifice so that you start living a life that you’re more proud of. sometimes it takes an unfortunate event for that conversation with your partner to really materialize. this event opened up the door for me to have real serious discussions with my wife.

I think it was more fear at the beginning that I didn’t have the conversation with my wife, right? Because, again, like I mentioned, I didn’t want to seem weak. I didn’t want to seem like, hey, you know, you’re the leader of our family and you don’t have it all together. What do you mean you’re, you’re not happy?

I mean, who cares? You need to hold together, right? And the unfortunate event took place. But now I kind of help my students say, don’t wait for that unfortunate event. The unfortunate event is guaranteed to come, but you do not [00:28:00] need to wait for that time to start making changes today.

And it starts as small as one fitness, right? So as simple as get when you get up in the morning, drop down on the floor and do five push ups, become disciplined about that, that you can start making a promise to yourself and you start being a little bit healthier. The five push ups a day is simple, we can all do it.

What will end up happening is you start saying, well, I did five. I’ve been doing five for a while. Now I can do 10. Maybe one day you feel great and you do 15 or 20. Now what starts to happen is you start to develop a new habit. As you start learning and teaching yourself that habit creations are possible.

And while they start as uncomfortable, then all of a sudden become routine. You start to be able to develop new ones. Then from there, you move into the habit of what I teach financially is save before spending. So the way we use our money is a habit, right? [00:29:00] So we, most of us run while we have thousand dollars in the account.

And that just means I can go spend a thousand dollars. And typically we just, that’s the way we operate. So what do we got to reprogram? We’ll say reprogram to whenever we receive money. Let’s put some money aside first. That way we don’t see it as available money in our bank account, right? Take it away from you.

But if you save first, you create this habit of saving before spending. Small 5, 25. You won’t even feel it. I mean, we spend that on anything, right? A stick, a pack of gum now is almost 5, right? So it’s so small, but it’s about creating the habit and getting outside of that uncomfortable area of saying, all right, I know what this feeling is now because I’ve learned to start breaking habits.

So now that I’m going to start working on this passion and work, it’s uncomfortable. It feels ugly. Until I know what’s going to happen and it’s going to eventually feel comfortable. It’s going to eventually ignite my soul. How exciting is it to know that [00:30:00] as you’re keeping your job, you’re starting to build something that you are very passionate about.

You can wake up in the morning energized Tomorrow. It’s not something like, well, when I have this dream business, then I’m going to wake up excited. No, working towards something is the key to happiness

Tim Melanson: progress. That’s the thing. Once you hit a goal, it ends up never being really what you thought it would feel like.

You’re like now on to the next goal. Right? Another thing too, is that I think men tend to like. Think about throwing money at problems a lot more than throwing time at problems. And so if you think about, you know, I’m stressed out because I’m going to downgrade my family’s lifestyle. What does that mean?

Like, does that mean that take them out to dinner as often? Cause that’s your quality time. I bet you, if you asked your wife and your kids. About what they would rather do if it was spending time with you or whether throwing money at something, what would they really say? I had a feeling that more of [00:31:00] them would talk about the quality time that they want rather than, you know, if it was quality time with the whole family playing games, for example, a board game, or I give you a bunch of money and you go out and do something else.

What would they rather have? And I imagine that’s probably a worthwhile conversation to have with your family. Right? You might be surprised about the answer. You might think that, no, no, no, no. I just, I go to work. I get the money. I give them money. They go do something. And then I go back to work. And you might think that that’s what they want, but I’m not sure if that is.

Javier Montes: Yeah, I think with kids, it’s worth just doing, right? Just try it out and you’re going to see the difference, right? One of the things that I spend a lot of time with my kids now doing is we do a lot of outdoor things.

Right. And it, you know, it costs a lot of money to do that stuff. When we started going on our, let’s cut back on our lifestyle a little bit so that I can build what I’m trying to build on, Well, we ended up having some bike rides around the neighborhood on the weekends, and man, it was [00:32:00] so powerful.

One of them was still little, and she was still using training wheels. And I said, you know what? Let’s make a goal to get you off of training wheels. We had so much one on one time. I learned so much about her. I taught her how to overcome the fear of, Oh, now you’re going to be without training wheels and it’s unstable and learn to stabilize yourself on the bike.

We’re going to feel fear. And when we feel fear, how do we handle that? What’s that emotion that I’m feeling? And how do I overcome it? The feeling of winning, of overcoming, the feeling of teaching my child, now you are a winner because you overcame this.

You felt the fear, you trusted in me, you learned the process and you kept going. this is invaluable experiences. Some things that you take for granted and you don’t see them because you’re so busy. Well, let’s go to another hotel, We could have been riding bike years ago.

Now we ride bike three, four times a week together. And we love it. Love it. They’re being healthy. They’re doing exercise. We’re out there breathing fresh air. We’re not inside the house locked up, right? We’re seeing new things. We see new [00:33:00] trees. They asked me, Hey dad, what’s that?

Hey dad, what’s that? All these magical things that you just take for granted as an adult, but the world is a beautiful place for your kids to explore and you can do all these things without any. And you don’t see them because again, we have the resources and so we’re, okay, let’s do that because we think that’s going to be the thing.

But there’s so many free things that we can do are going to be 10 times more impactful. You force yourself, you put yourself in a position where, man, I could really enjoy this. I could do this more often. And. It’s so powerful, We have this idea in our head where we got to spend money to have fun.

And that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Tim Melanson: opposite. So now it is time for your guest solo. So tell me what’s exciting in your business right now.

Javier Montes: What’s exciting right now is I’m offering a masterclass for anyone out there It’s a. 60 days. And I teach three simple solutions that you can implement in your life right away. One for three different areas. So one to improve your fitness, one to improve your finances, I want to improve your [00:34:00] relationships with your family, how to break bad habits.

So I’m most excited about this masterclass right now. I offer them once a month. And for whoever’s interested, they can go online, go to dadwebinar. com. That’s www. dadwebinar. com. And you’ll see the next one that’s coming up. You can register right for it there. It’s a quick, it’s a 45 minute class.

It’s all on zoom. So you can do it from wherever you are in the world. And you walk away with some value, some actual concrete things that you can implement in your life right now to see pretty drastic changes in the next 60 days. I’ve gotten so much positive feedback from it, the dads that are coming and participating, I’m getting so many awesome feedback and reviews from it.

That it’s helps me reach a larger audience and help make a bigger impact, right? We’re as society, just working one on one with those that I actually know me, or maybe have connected with me and I get to work one on one with them. Now I can work in a group setting. And it’s, you know, again, it’s a free class just because I really want to support my own mission of [00:35:00] empowering fathers.

I want them to use the tools out there. Yes, of course, for those that want a little more one on one work, I want to fast track their way, they can hire me as their mentor and, you know, we can work on these things, you know, one on one, but. This group setting is so fun. It’s so awesome. And I think that’s probably the thing that I’m most excited about right now in my business.

I love that. That’s awesome. So it’s dadwebinar. com.

Tim Melanson: Dad, D A

Javier Montes: D webinar.

Tim Melanson: com. Now, if somebody does want to work with you directly though, how do they contact you then?

Javier Montes: From there, if you do want to work with me directly. we do a discovery call first. we’ll meet together first.

We’ll listen to what it is that’s troubling you, what you need some help on. I ask a few questions just to make sure that, what I’m going to be teaching and the work we’re going to be doing together makes sense for where you’re struggling. And if it does, then, I’ll proceed to give you an offer on one of our coaching programs.

For those that want to inquire about that, there’s another URL. It’s called talk to Javier. com. Again, that’s a free discovery call, That’s my name. Talk to Javier. com and [00:36:00] you can schedule a discovery call right there with me.

Tim Melanson: Awesome.

Thank you so much for rocking out with me today.

Javier Montes: Oh, it was a pleasure, Tim. I thank you so much for having me again. I’m really proud of you. Thank you for everything you do. This is really, really important. Helping people follow their dreams, being able to be a rock star at home.

As there is a lot of power and being at home and really being passionate about the work you’re doing, but also being able to be present for your wife and your kids. I think that that’s the other part of the piece that’s not talked about so much, but for me, it’s one of the pivotal parts. So thank you for all the work that you do.

Thank you for saying that.

Tim Melanson: the listeners, make sure you subscribe, rate, and comment. We’ll see you next time on the Work at Home Rockstar podcast.

Intro: Thanks for listening. To learn how you can become a Work at Home Rockstar or become a better one, head on over to WorkAtHomeRockstar. com today.